tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52946344518037844882024-03-12T20:35:08.154-05:00REAL FATKeeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.comBlogger518125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-18179301474613419412018-03-11T11:58:00.001-05:002018-03-11T12:07:03.454-05:00CrossroadsIts been several years since I posted here. A number of things about my life have changed, but one thing remains the same: I am still working on my health.<br />
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When I thoughtfully consider <a href="http://realfatblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/are-you-there-skinny-me-its-me-fat-me.html" target="_blank">the inception of this blog</a> and everything that has transpired since, I conclude that there is no reason to be anything but grateful. I have kept off a substantial amount of weight for a number of years. I have experienced the value of discipline, transparency and forgiveness. I have begun the life-long process of learning to truly love people rather than to use or fear them.</div>
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All of these things have come to be, in part, because of the struggle I've had with food. I wouldn't change a thing about that. Not even the stubborn roll that resides just below my bellybutton. Will it ever go away for good? I don't know. I really don't. But its OK if it doesn't. The significance of that roll pales in comparison to a life changed.</div>
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I have more peace with my weight, my appearance, my worth, my purpose...than I've ever had before. Yet, here I stand. Facing a crossroads where it seems I've stood a million times before. I used to think there was only this one and that I'd shamefully keep coming back to it over and over again, forever. But what I'm wondering today is...could this be just one of many crossroads that I have come to in my journey? That I will come to? God never quits working on us; He never stops bringing us to completion. No, I really don't think I'm back to an old place at all. I'm at a new place. It's only familiar because faith is required to go the way I need to go--and faith is required at many crossroads.</div>
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I don't have to stand here as long as I used to trying to make a move. Because I know that He will carry me when I step out in the right direction. When I put my trust in Him and stop relying on myself--my analysis, my reservations, my fears--then we get moving down a good road. </div>
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It is my intention to begin a Whole 30 on April 1 and never really look back. Over the next couple of weeks I am reading up, planning and praying about this new direction. I have missed blogging about this area of my life. I so hope I will be able to keep it up consistently.</div>
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Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-38887687958997423342015-01-08T08:46:00.002-06:002015-01-08T09:50:21.565-06:00The ChangeI think it's the coolest thing ever when God reveals a little bit more of the bigger picture to one of his children. The bigger picture that only he can see. It fills my heart with joy, hope and encouragement to press on because I'm reminded and shown that He really is working all things together for good. It's also such an expression of his intimate love for me.<br>
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January has been representative of big changes for me over the past 5 years. I love a new, clean, blank slate. This January came more like a breath of fresh air than a clean slate. I was beginning to feel suffocated by the final days of 2014. A myriad of health issues for everyone in the family had been wreaking havoc for several weeks. Tummy bugs, upper respiratory infection that wouldn't quit, an autoimmune flare up for my son, flu for my husband, what I think was flu for myself, several-day constipation episode with my daughter...It was a lot for this gal whose anxiety is triggered by health issues.<br>
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On New Years Eve I began thinking about what we could do as a family to improve our health. For several years I have basically been preparing a healthy meal for myself and then whatever the others want to appease them. I have tried a couple of times to feed everyone the same way but with even a small bit of resistance I have given up. With a stronger motivation this time around--wanting to heal some of the health issues--I decided to enlist the troops first. I presented the plan, along with the science behind it, to all adults in the house and after some everyone agreed to give it a go. I shared the meal plan with grandparents so they would understand what is going on as well. Everyone was supportive and willing to help out.<br>
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Establishing this support system and understanding is key. Everyone has to be on the same page. I was and am so grateful that this happened. Then the research, planning, prepping and shopping began. We are basically transitioning to a real food diet. My initial goals are to remove all gluten, sugar, and toxicity from the foods we eat. I am trying to keep a balance of introducing new foods, namely vegetables, but offering some old, comforting favorites but swapping to healthier ingredients. We may not be healthIEST yet but we are healthIER.<br>
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The food preparations and meal planning is not as difficult as it might seem. I have been learning to eat like this for the past year. That's part of God revealing his plan to me! Last February, I believe it was, I decided to do a 21 Day Sugar Detox just to see what the buzz was all about and to get a better grip on the Paleo way of eating. I didn't fully understand why I was doing it but I definitely felt a prompting and God gave me the strength to breeze through that 21 days. It was truly life changing for me. I now see that this is the direction that is in the best interest of my little family, and in-part at least, I see what God was up to in that. I also now see the extremely anxious weeks of December with all the sickness being the springboard I needed to be able to jump head-first into this change with no reservations and full confidence.<br>
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Making the changes been difficult on the kids and me emotionally. I won't lie. I'm working through feelings of guilt and shame for the way I have allowed their palates to develop from an early age--full of sugar, unhealthy grains and processed foods and most of all letting them--the CHILDREN--dictate what they would be eating most of the time. On the other hand I have to be gentle with myself and remember that I just began learning about real food and nutrition a few years ago. I also feel that I have been in survival mode over the past 5 years trying to get my life back and under control. It's like the "put your own oxygen mask on before you put it on someone else" scenario. I now have the tools I need, the determination, the support and the motivation. Now is the time for change for my kids. God's timing is perfect.<br>
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Some of the fun of this so far has been trying to disguise vegetables into foods that my kids love. Macaroni and Cheese! Yesterday I cooked cauliflower and carrots in water, drained them. Thought that, small amount of cream cheese, butter and raw cheddar in the food processor. Cheese sauce that is loaded with nutrients my kids have never had before. Yes, there is the processed cheese and rice noodles but every step in the right direction is a BIG step. An important step and ones that I am choosing to celebrate big time! My kids, I'm sorry to say, have been raised on Easy Mac and they gobbled this up. That's some legit mac 'n cheese, right there.<br>
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I also added a sweet potato and spinach puree to some organic pasta sauce and no one knew. It tasted really good, the sweet potatoes gave it a nice sweetness and the spinach particles passed for Italian spices. Ha!<br>
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I think one of the greatest challenges is separating emotions from this process. I know that is has been for me in my personal journey with food and now I am trying to help my children to separate emotions from eating which means using my own knowledge and intuition to decided when they are truly hungry, when they are bored, when they are tired, when they are anxious, etc. It takes every ounce of motherhood that I have in me to do this...and it feels great. It feels like I am doing what a mother should be doing. I have to be so in tune with what is going on in their heads and hearts that I can help them make the right choices and when they can't, then I have to make it for them. This is what it is to be a parent. This is what it is to love. But so hard! I have to control myself at the same time. To listen to a kid complain about the food I just made and not ignore him for the rest of the night because it hurt my feelings? Tough. But I have to separate my emotions from this too. I have to be strong enough to see past the tears that are begging for something that is horrible for a tiny body and realize that many times love is saying no. Tears never hurt anyone.<br>
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So, more of seeing that bigger picture. Learning to combat emotional eating and people pleasing over the past 5 years now has an even greater purpose that I could have imagined. So amazing.<br>
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And I must say something about this guy. My love.<br>
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He has supported me on this journey relentlessly and there is no one on earth I would rather have by my side than him. He is eating the hidden veggie meals like a trooper and giving me high fives and butt slaps for every victory in the kitchen. Lol! We are truly a team and that makes all the difference in the world.<br>
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I'm so thankful to God for these victories and "the change" that we have already seen in just one week. I'm thankful for the path that he has chosen for me and the people that he has chosen for me. May he be glorified in our lives and in our health! Soli Deo Gloria!<br>
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Blog post completed. Now, on to do some more hard things on this frigid January morning!<br>
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<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png"></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-57074135030391264842014-09-01T08:35:00.001-05:002014-09-01T10:01:54.653-05:00Defining the It<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-U-d6LYywAk8/VASC9VfOI5I/AAAAAAAAGvc/QbJjn5H6oJA/s640/blogger-image-634605887.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-U-d6LYywAk8/VASC9VfOI5I/AAAAAAAAGvc/QbJjn5H6oJA/s640/blogger-image-634605887.jpg"></a></div><br></div>There are countless motivational snippets using the word "it" as the subject. Some examples:<div><br></div><div>Just do <i>it</i>.</div><div>Whatever <i>it</i> takes.</div><div><i>It</i> always seems impossible until <i>it's</i> done.</div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">How bad do you want <i>it</i>?</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You got to work for <i>it</i>.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It's</i> not easy but <i>it's</i> worth it.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">No one's going to do <i>it</i> for you.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Make </span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">it</i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> happen!</span></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">So, I've been thinking. What is this allusive "it"? </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Is <i>it</i> whatever I want <i>it</i> to be that day? That month? That year? Do I even know what <i>it</i> is that I want? And more importantly, whatever <i>it</i> is, is <i>it</i> worth wanting? Experience tells me that there is really only one <i>it</i> that is worth wanting. Worth working for. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><i>"The destined end of man is not happiness, nor health, but holiness." Oswald Chambers</i></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Holiness. This is the <i>it</i> that I want dangling in front of me. A bikini? No. Ability to run miles unwinded? No. Ab muscles that are visible? No. A certain number on the scale? No. To feel comfortable in my own skin? No. To be healthy? No. Not even that.</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I'd be lying if I said I didn't want these things. But these things can't be the <i>it</i>. They can't! They aren't required of me. They aren't promised to me. They aren't things that can fullfill me. They aren't <i>its</i> that will last. Perhaps for a time, but not forever. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">.<i>..train yourself for godliness. F</i></span></font><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>or while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timithy 4:7-8</i></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Maybe there are lots of different <i>its</i> in my life. But there is one <i>It</i> that transcends them all--drives all that I do--in any and every situation. All the other <i>its</i> must fall in line with that one, ultimate <b><i>IT</i></b>. Godliness. Holiness. To be like Christ.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Everyday I gotta wake up and remind myself what <i>it</i> is that I'm living for. And the Bible says that I have to train for <i>it</i>. <i>It</i> won't just happen. I need a plan to train for godliness. Time set aside to be in God's word. A regimen for daily talks with God. Goals for hiding His word in my heart. Accountability to then live <i>it</i> out! In other words...</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Just do <i>it</i>.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Whatever <i>it</i> takes.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It</i> always seems impossible until <i>it's</i> done.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">How bad do you want <i>it</i>?</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You got to work for <i>it</i>.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It's</i> not easy but <i>it's</i> worth it.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">No ones going to do <i>it</i> for you.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Defining the </span><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">it</i><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> makes all the difference! We must do our part to train for godliness and then pray for God to "</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Make </span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">it</i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> happen!"</span></div></div></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-39511052621681322392014-07-23T10:48:00.001-05:002014-07-23T13:13:11.563-05:00Progress Pics & MoreSo the sugar diaries kinda went by the wayside. I don't know why I always try to do things like that. You know, things that require consistency.<br>
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I decided several days into no sugar/no wheat that I just wanted to eat whatever but track it. So I did. And I felt miserable. So now I'm back to no sugar/no wheat but I'm not going to diary about it everyday on this blog. Most likely.</div>
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Cleaning out pics on my phone today, I ran across these January come-to-Jesus photos. Thank goodness I stopped and turned from the path I was on. I could easily be back up to my highest weight by now if I'd kept going. Instead I've made slow and steady progress. Currently hovering slightly over 180. In Jan I believe I was up to 200+.</div>
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Life is good. God is teaching me so much about myself, stuff I probably couldn't have even handled knowing before right now. I'm learning to appreciate and live in every moment. Not like I'm crossing off bucket list items left and right. I'm just taking each day, each moment in stride and trying to confide in God first when I come to a bump in the road. God first, people second. I feel lighter in a way that has nothing to do with my weight.</div>
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Below is a shot I took while on lake vacation with the family last week. I can't even express how perfect it was. For me, it was ideal. Breezy, cloudy, 70 degree weather everyday. I think some sun would have been appreciated by the more lively of the bunch who were there for the water! But for me, perfect. The slow-paced time with family was lovely.</div>
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I've slipped back into a good eating and cooking routine. I go through phases where even thinking about healthy food (read: vegetables) just makes me want to barf. I'm kind of learning to go with the flow of those phases and eat what I want in moderation and just capitalize on the phases where I get in a healthy groove like I am right now. Maybe this feast/fast mentality will work for me. Praying God will lead the way.</div>
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Currently I'm eating 3 meals and two snacks focusing on healthy fats, lots of veggies, some fruit and a bit of dairy each day. Some weeks I may plan ahead and others I may need to track each day on My Fitness Pal. </div>
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I'm figuring out what is black and white and what is more grey. </div>
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Black and White: I have to have a plan.</div>
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Grey: There are different plans that can work for me at different times.</div>
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These are some recent posts on my REALFATPICS Instagram account. This morning was my week 2 da y2 for Couch to 5K. I went early while there was a breeze and it was nice. I'm really determined to complete this because I want to be easily running 3-4 miles by fall.</div>
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One thing I love about walking/jogging is how God speaks to me. I think because I want to talk to God but I can't really because I'm out of breath and focused on not DYING so instead I have to listen. He always speaks. Yesterday was an interesting one. We were talking about how it is just me and Him now. My focus needs only to be on Him. All of a sudden a scene from the movie Dirty Dancing came to my mind. I haven't seen that movie in years and I couldn't even really remember what the scene was other than Patrick Swayze was pointing at Jennifer Grey to look into his eyes. I kind of laughed it off, God couldn't possibly want to speak to me through an old movie that has the word "dirty" in the title could he?</div>
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Indeed.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I found the clip later on yesterday and when I watched I just smiled and felt so loved. We've been dancing for a long time, me and God.</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/HnzhZx7LRig" width="560"></iframe>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-70685489585496486952014-07-08T14:21:00.001-05:002014-07-08T14:21:04.465-05:00The Sugar Diaries: Day 4 & 5Does chocolate chip cookie dough have sugar in it? <div>Yeah. That's what I thought.</div><div><br></div>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-82717340740655072492014-07-05T12:01:00.001-05:002014-07-05T12:02:03.821-05:00The Sugar Diaries: Day 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-pgfZsQ-Zb1U/U7gvSgSSQkI/AAAAAAAAGtg/D_ybLAn6sM4/s640/blogger-image--827015611.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-pgfZsQ-Zb1U/U7gvSgSSQkI/AAAAAAAAGtg/D_ybLAn6sM4/s640/blogger-image--827015611.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">One of the reasons I love doing the 21 Day Sugar Detox ( <span style="font-family: '.HelveticaNeueUI'; font-size: 15px; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">http://21daysugardetox.com/ ) </span>are the bowel benefits. By Day 2 I am moving from Type 4 into Type 5, which is ideal.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Yesterday I did have a moment of serious sugar craving. There was nothing that sounded good but something sweet. I crunched on salty almonds until the moment passed. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm not monitoring quantity this week. I just want to avoid sugar temptation and next week I will track and look at calories. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-53764660362443982412014-07-04T23:36:00.001-05:002014-07-04T23:36:38.751-05:00The Sugar Diaries: Day 2Today I'm calling good. Although I did have a bite of baked beans and one slight sip of a chocolate milk shake, today was the Fourth of July and I kind of jumped into the detox with very little prep or planning. I think I did good considering my mental state and all the business going on around me. <div><br></div><div>My goal for tomorrow is to exercise. Some way, somehow.</div>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-48674794778325692952014-07-03T10:21:00.001-05:002014-07-03T10:26:54.935-05:00The Sugar Diaries: Day 1Note to self: <div><br></div><div>Why am I doing this?</div><div><br></div><div><b>My Utmost for His Highest, June 29</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic; ">If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell —</span><a target="_blank" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?version=31&search=Matthew+5%3A30" style="text-decoration: none; font-style: italic; ">Matthew 5:30</a></span></div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Jesus did not say that everyone must cut off his right hand, but that “if your right hand causes you to sin” in your walk with Him, then it is better to “cut it off.” There are many things that are perfectly legitimate, but if you are going to concentrate on God you cannot do them. Your right hand is one of the best things you have, but Jesus says that if it hinders you in following His precepts, then “cut it off.” The principle taught here is the strictest discipline or lesson that ever hit humankind.</i></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i><br></i></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have long struggled with food. This is "my story." Food is a gift from God. Sugar is a good thing. It's a good thing that I must cut off. Praise God that many of his children may enjoy it to His glory. This has not been my experience. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I continue to desire sugar. It's more than a good thing to me. It's a friend, a comfort, an analgesic when I choose this inanimate substance over the Living God. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">It is permissible for me to eat sugar. But not beneficial.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So when someone questions me...when I begin to question myself...let this note stand to gently but confidently remind me that I'm not running aimlessly or as one beating air. But I discipline my body and <sup data-cr="#cen-ESV-28551AP" class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28551AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px; "></sup>keep it under control,<span style="font-size: 14px;"> </span>lest after preaching to others <sup data-cr="#cen-ESV-28551AQ" class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28551AQ" title="See cross-reference AQ">AQ</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px; "></sup>I myself should be <sup data-cr="#cen-ESV-28551AR" class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28551AR" title="See cross-reference AR">AR</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px; "></sup>disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:27). This is for Gods glory. Get behind me Satan.</span></div>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-9066053565703126122014-04-05T07:18:00.000-05:002014-04-05T07:19:40.330-05:00About that Bikini...This morning I was thinking about a blog post I did a long time ago. I had been about 3 months into my journey and decided to do a video post about swimsuits. I confidently proclaimed that I would be wearing a two piece bathing suit that summer on a beach somewhere. Never would I wear one of those granny suits again, I promised.<br />
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Well here we are about 4 years later and suffice it to say, granny suits aren't getting such a bad wrap from me these days. Am I where I wanted to be back then, right now? No. But that's honestly a wonderful thing. What if God just gave us everything we wanted right when we wanted it? Oh man. <br />
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In place of a two-piece body I have received some things I wouldn't have ever even dreamed of asking for. <br />
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A love for honesty and facing reality.<br />
Desire to deal with conflict.<br />
Experience in perseverance. <br />
Acceptance of my body as God made it.<br />
A truly free spirit that has<em> almost</em> stopped making plans of her own. <br />
Understanding of why I weighed nearly 230 pounds (and it's not because "I just love food.")<br />
Guidance on how to be really beautiful. (See 1 Pet.3)<br />
Grace and compassion for others who suffer from addictions, bad habits & hurts.<br />
A deeper relationship with Jesus.<br />
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Basically, I asked for scraps and God provided a feast. <br />
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<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-64736190404706627362014-03-04T11:37:00.001-06:002014-03-04T11:37:51.519-06:00A Nail-Biter<span style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Took a counseling course a couple years ago and one of the projects was a "sin" project. Fun times. I had to write a whole paper that was focused specially on a personal sin. It was actually very liberating believe it or not.</span><div><font face=".Helvetica NeueUI"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);"><br></span></font><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">We were instructed to focus on something we might consider "not a big deal," something as seemingly insignificant as say...biting your nails.</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Huh? Biting nails is a sin? </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Well not exactly, but the roots of why a person might bite their nails can reveal deeper sin struggles. I did not use that for my project but it has been something I think about a lot. Because I have been biting my nails for as long as I can remember.</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">When do I bite my nails? Why?</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">When I am afraid, overwhelmed, worried. I usually don't even realize Im doing it until one starts bleeding. Is there any connection between putting nails in my mouth and putting food in my mouth when I am afraid, overwhelmed, worried? I imagine there is. </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Will-power has never been a sustainable method for me to change things like these. Hot pepper juice can't even keep my nails out of my mouth! The hope of a cute bikini bod can't even make me eat less. There is no man-made way or incentive for me to be made whole.</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">But turning to The Sustainer, the God who holds me...for peace, comfort and wisdom will--in the long run--change me. Change everything about me, right down to the state of my fingernails.</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><i>The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:9-10</i></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><i><br></i></div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0" id="yui-gen3" style="text-align: -webkit-auto;color: rgb(39, 39, 39); font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; line-height: 23px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgb(251, 250, 251); width: 308px; "><tbody id="yui-gen2"><tr id="yui-gen9"><td class="v1Col" id="yui-gen8" style="border: 0px solid rgb(43, 43, 43); vertical-align: text-top; width: 320px; "><i><span id="verse19" class="height" style="line-height: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000" face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><span id="yui-gen7">For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell,</span></font></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: normal; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "> through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. Col 1:19-20</span></i></td></tr><tr><td class="v1Col" style="border: 0px solid rgb(43, 43, 43); vertical-align: text-top; width: 320px; "><br></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">I have not had finger nails in my mouth for over a month. Also down 15 lbs since Jan. Thx Jesus.</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9eHsrfJNE2o/UxYPbeLWrgI/AAAAAAAAGtE/-eJ6AMTTV_s/s640/blogger-image--256935318.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9eHsrfJNE2o/UxYPbeLWrgI/AAAAAAAAGtE/-eJ6AMTTV_s/s640/blogger-image--256935318.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-61075001128882632502014-01-14T10:33:00.003-06:002014-01-14T11:58:23.000-06:00Heart, Mind & Soul<i>"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." A.W. Tozer</i><br>
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I used to believe that God was was waiting on me to get my stuff together. That he would really love me and accept me if I could just do everything the way I was supposed to. That was my <b>spiritual </b>belief, deep down. Even if I said stuff like God has forgiven me, God loves me, etc...I didn't truly believe it deep deep down. Spiritually I was striving to attain favor with God.<b> </b><br>
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<b>Mentally</b>, I thought constantly about how often I fell short. I thought that I was not doing something that I was supposed to be because I could never stick to anything. I thought that just like many people treated me differently because of being overweight, that God must also see me as an outcast and someone not worthy of Him. I thought that I was not adding up to the expectations God had for me.<br>
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<b>Emotionally</b>, I was miserable. I felt sad and like a failure every time I fell in my attempts to get healthy. I was failing to make myself "acceptable." I was emotionally ashamed, bitter, and hopeless.<b> </b><br>
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<b>Physically</b>, this all led to doing nothing. Since I felt hopeless, I just didn't want to try. Since I had tried so many times to get it right and hadn't, what was the point of doing anything like trying to eat right. Trying to move more.<br>
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This paints a pretty decent picture of how our spiritual beliefs inform our thought life, which directs our emotions which determine our actions.<br>
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But when my idea of God changed, so did everything else about me.<br>
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When I began to understand and truly <b>believe</b> in the GOSPEL message that God loves me as a failure. In fact that he never expected anything other than a failure from me apart from Him, well...that changed things.<br>
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When I let that truth that it wasn't up to me to get it right to be accepted by God, it was like a healing balm to my <b>mind</b>. The thoughts of falling short were paired with the knowledge that Jesus covers that shortcoming with his blood shed on the cross. The thought of an angry God tapping his foot waiting on me to improve was replaced with the thought of a God running toward me in my sin ready to clean up the mess. The thought of a God who died for sinners, outcasts, obese people who are lost and trapped...that thought changed me.<br>
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Those thoughts come into my heart like a rushing river that washes away the <b>emotions</b> of bitterness, shame and hopelessness and replaces them with gratitude, confidence and hope. Why would he save me to leave me in the filth? Why would He die for me and then turn his back on me? He doesn't. And so it slowly became okay to get up again. Day after day is a "do-over" and I am okay with that. I feel safe to be honest with others about the darkest parts of who I am because God knows all of that and he has accepted me.<br>
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It's not that I now have it all together <b>physically</b> but I do have hope. And without hope it's pretty hard to even get out of bed in the morning.<br>
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The Bible says the TRUTH will set you free. It also says that <b>Jesus</b> is the TRUTH. So let the TRUTH invade your soul and see what happens to your mind, heart and body.<br>
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<i>"We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope." Tim Keller</i><br>
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png"></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-74651726882950717292014-01-09T14:36:00.004-06:002014-01-09T15:21:52.487-06:00More To It Than "Just Do It"<div>
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I've seen this floating around a lot and while I do understand and agree with the principle (you have to eat right to make the workout worth it), I believe it can be misleading and even discouraging to some people. <div><br></div><div>Nutrition and exercise are the two major <i>physical</i> factors in weight loss, however, for many people, weight loss is much more than a purely physical obstacle to tackle.This visual does little to help those people lose the weight. Why? Isn't knowledge power? Yes, to an extent. But for a person who is carrying a significant amount of extra weight, it likely didn't get there because they are uneducated. </div><div><br></div><div>This 80/20 principle of fitness is only one piece of the weight loss puzzle...a piece upon which most of us have a fairly decent grasp. There are 3 more "pieces" if you will, that don't get much airtime: the <b>Mental</b> piece, the <b>Emotional</b> piece and the <b>Spiritual</b> piece.The reason I don't think these get much airtime is that they don't really "sell." People don't want to address all these pieces because it's hard work. It can be painful, inconvenient and even costly. Maybe it just seems silly or "not for me." Maybe it seems too complicated. After all, <i>Just don't eat when you're hungry. Keep your appetite under control. Eat less, move more! </i>It's that simple, right? Well, it seems a lot less complicated in January than it does in December, I'll tell you that much.<br>
<br></div><div>I know there are people who have lost large amounts of weight and have even kept it off for many years by merely changing their diet and exercise. Perhaps they just needed some education, a form of exercise that was fun for them and time. I am thrilled to no end for these people! I wish that was me. But it's not.<div><br></div><div>If you can't figure out how to "stick to it", then tell me, how much good does knowing about the 80/20 principle do you? How helpful are the hours of reading, research and physical exertion if you can't be honest about what you are putting in your mouth? How fun is losing 100 pounds if you still feel lost on the inside.<br>
<br></div><div>Someone has focused on that physical piece for so long and so diligently, year after year, book after book, gym after gym... never to make progress and can not figure out why. Someone is frustrated, defeated and tired. Someone is starting to wonder if there's more to it than "just do it."<br>
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If that's you then I am telling you, you're on to something! The physical piece alone is not enough. The 80 and the 20, while important, are not the only players here. There is more. Dig deeper. Don't settle for a surface change without getting to the root. Keep doing what you need to do physically, utilize all the knowledge you have, but start examining the other pieces as well. What you begin to find might just be what's been missing all along.</div><div><br></div><div>A starting point for each piece:</div><div>Mental-- memorize scripture</div><div>Emotional--tell someone trusted and close about your deepest struggle (email me if you'd like: keeliesue@live.com)</div><div>Spiritual--Pray and admit your need for help.<br>
<br></div><div>Sometimes a simple reminder that there is more to life than eating well and working out can be encouraging. This is how I see it:</div><div>
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I know, I know-- I'm bad at math! But I really did mean to have four 100 percents here. More to come in the following days on picking up the pieces of total wellness!<br>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: -webkit-center;">Love the Lord </span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: -webkit-center;">your God with all </span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: -webkit-center;">your heart, with </span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: -webkit-center;">all your soul, with </span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: -webkit-center;">all your mind, and </span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: -webkit-center;">with all your </span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; text-align: -webkit-center;">strength." Mark 12:30</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><i>Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27</i></span></span><br>
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png"></a></div></div>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-46749308896481617832014-01-07T21:27:00.000-06:002014-01-07T21:38:03.231-06:00Asking the Right Questions<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: How long is this going to take?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: What have I learned so far?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Why is the scale so stupid? </pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: Why do I put so much emphasis on the scale?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: How much more food can I eat today? </pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: What is my body telling me it needs?</b> </pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: What are some healthier midnight snacks that I can have?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: Why am I eating midnight snacks?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Why can't I be perfect?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: Why do I want to be perfect?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Who is responsible for my being overweight?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: What is my role in being overweight?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: What is working for everyone else?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: What works for me?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Why am I such a loser?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: What factors caused me to give up in the past?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: How much can I get away with?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: What boundaries are helpful to me?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Why is it so easy for some people?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: How is God using this difficulty to refine me?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Why do I have to struggle with this? </pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: Who else is struggling that I can encourage and possibly help?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Why does my family/friend sabotage me?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: Why do I let them?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: Why is exercise so boring and hard!? </pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: Am I using this amazing body God made to it's full capacity?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: What are people thinking?</pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: Why am I so concerned about what people think?</b></pre>
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<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;">NOT: What if I quit? </pre>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; white-space: normal;"><b>BUT: What if I keep going?</b></pre>
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-12571819895287522942014-01-03T12:18:00.000-06:002014-01-03T12:26:42.001-06:00Walk On<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-D-FUroDqU5g/Usbr5staZqI/AAAAAAAAGsI/gZp3eg22zZY/s640/blogger-image-1757183307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-D-FUroDqU5g/Usbr5staZqI/AAAAAAAAGsI/gZp3eg22zZY/s640/blogger-image-1757183307.jpg"></span></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;">My life has changed drastically in the past 4 years. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;">Physically I lost (forever gone) 30 lbs. I have been, though not currently, in the best shape of my life, completing multiple 5Ks as well as a Half Marathon. I am no longer one to sit and rarely watch TV anymore. I have learned more about nutrition than I even thought possible and continue to learn more. I now know what being healthy "feels" like and crave that feeling when I'm not.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;">Mentally I learned that I can do hard things, as well as things that aren't fun to me just because sometimes those things need to be done. Sometimes they <i>have</i> to be done. I learned that many deep-seeded lies have directed my thinking for years and by replacing those lies with the truth of God's Word I think about all things in a different way today.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;">Emotionally I have learned that relationships with other people aren't optional and they are really hard but thats ok. Relationship is something God created to conform me to His Son. Love others. Not "easy others" or "likeable others" or "stable others" or "drama-free others." Just love <i>others</i>. I am able to love for no other reason than the glorious fact God loves me. Difficult, unlikeable, unstable, drama-filled me. Yes, I learned those things about myself, too. I know that I need to be loved and to accept love when it's given, however it's given, even if its not the way I imagined it should be.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-size: 14px;">And finally the spiritual aspect of my journey. This whole real fat deal has been completely</span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-size: 14px;"> spiritual. I had no idea what I started when I posted this silly picture in January of 2009:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I just felt "something "(it was the Holy Spirit of Christ) compelling me to be brutally honest. Honest about my thoughts, my feelings, and yes, even my weight. God's Word assured me that it would be okay to be REAL because He loved the <i>real</i> me. And others need to know he loves the <i>real</i> them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It seems now that He carried me that year. Completely--I don't remember being discouraged or wanting to quit or even thinking that what I was doing to improve my health was difficult. Then satan busted in with lies. New lies that I hadn't heard before and had trouble discerning. Was I being too rigid? Was I trying too hard to be obedient? Was I being silly putting all of this out there for the world to see? I began to lose heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I took a step back for a couple of years. During that time I have learned lots but the most important is this: No matter what, I have got to walk on. When doubt haunts me, when human voices taunt me, I can't be shaken! I can't retreat or pout or give up. I must <b>Keep Calm and Walk On.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So here we are in 2014. Let's walk, people!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">{Oh yes, Proverbs 3 is my "scripture of 2014." Gonna memorize that baby, hopefully with the fam.}</span></div>
Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-14382549371980725702013-12-27T13:05:00.004-06:002013-12-27T13:15:41.355-06:00Back to Square One (With Hope)I wonder if anyone out there feels like I have been feeling...<br>
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Here we are. Again. The starting line. <i>Again? Really?</i><br>
<i><br></i>Really.<br>
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<i>"Oh my gosh. This is so ridiculous. So cliche! The beginning of a new year, a new outlook on life and losing weight. Gag! How many times have you done this, Keelie? No one believes you can do it. You are pitiful. Why are you even doing this again? You never succeed. You never stay the course. You are going to make an idiot of yourself. Don't bother. No one even cares if you are "healthy" or not. It's pointless. You have never been able to stop yourself from quitting. You are weak. You are addicted to food. Food! How gross is that? Why can't you just control yourself? ugh! Disgusting. Even if you do good for a while you'll slip. You'll fall hard. You always do. And then you'll feel sorry for yourself. You'll eat. And eat. And eat. And then you'll get so fat that your clothes will look horrible and won't fit. You'll have to wear the same outfit over and over again when you go in public because it's the only thing that buttons. Oh but that's right, you aren't giving up. You're going to "try again," again. It's cute. It really is. But you are a lost cause. A joke. Give it up. Just do us all a favor and stop.</i><br>
<i><br></i>
Anyone?<br>
<div>
<i><br></i>
This is shame. The shame of the enemy.<br>
<br>
I have to make a choice right now.The shame of Satan or the God of Hope?<br>
<br>
In our failure, in our fatness, in our weakness and in our shame, Jesus came for us. He said "I love you." with his life and death. He takes that very Love and pours it into our hearts. If we confess our weakness of character, the undeniable urge to serve only ourselves and if we believe He loves us anyway then we become children of God. To each of us who is a sinner and believes we need saving, God adopts us as his beloved. He sees a heart made beautiful by the blood of his Son. The shame, in reality, is gone as far as the east is from the west. If Someone can love me in spite of me--and He <i>does--</i> then there is hope. And Hope will not put us to shame. Never.<br>
<br>
So I've decided that I'm not going to be ashamed of starting again and believing that I'll be successful.This is the confidence I have, that He who began a good work in me will finish what He started. That's His plan, and who am I to argue? Not only is beginning again possible, it's necessary. I'm done with shame.<br>
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And Satan...well he can just go to hell.<br>
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<img height="400" src="http://year27.com/wp-content/uploads/120123_Romans15_13.jpg" width="400"><br>
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Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-72085888975819886582013-12-15T16:54:00.003-06:002013-12-16T09:10:46.767-06:00Baby Bundt for the Soul<div>
<img height="400" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/foodspotting-ec2/reviews/1375374/thumb_600.jpg?1330109020" width="400"></div>
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Yesterday after hours of Christmas shopping I finally waved my white flag in the battle of "I Want Sweets." Reluctantly I entered the Corner Bakery and sheepishly ordered a chocolate baby bundt cake. I rendered my coffee the perfect shade of creamy caramel and de-layered into a cozy booth for one. My eyes began to wander around, taking in all the people as I carefully cut and ate each section of my chocolatey, seemingly comforting cake, assuring myself this would be the last sugar I'd have in 2013.</div><div><br></div><div>The hustly, bustly holiday people were packed into this joint. Some talking, some texting. The awkward girlfriend eating her sandwich with one hand covering her mouth as she alternated chewing and nervously giggling uncontrollably while her aloof companion scarfed down his food. There was the 50-something-year-old man with a newspaper under his arm waiting impatiently for his to-go order to be brought out. Two cute older ladies splitting a sandwich and a muffin. A mom trying to feed her 4 kids under the age of 6. Methodically...a well oiled machine. Likely soaking up every last minute of "getting out" before returning to what we mom's affectionately refer to as "Home."</div><div><br></div><div>And then there was me. </div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
The overweight girl in a corner booth eating her big-enough-for-3-or-4 "baby" bundt cake. Every last bite of it. Peering out from behind a book wondering if anyone was reading me the way I was reading them. </div>
<div><br></div><div>My thoughts were jolted when an annoyingly symmetrical, upside-down-heart-shaped, hard-as-a-rock, perky little booty covered in black tights (which are apparently the same thing as pants now) pranced past me.</div><div><br></div><div>Wow. Just wow. I'm sure my eyes were bugging out of my head. So much flooding my mind, <i>If only...how in the world...stop STARING!...</i> </div><div><br></div><div>As she sat down in the booth just in front of me, wondered what it would be like to have that bum (what Glory would call it) as I used my fork to smash and lift up the surviving micro-crumbs of my baby bundt. <i>Guess I'll never know. Ha. </i></div><div><br></div><div>My daydreaming was once again interrupted when I over-heard a server ask the table behind me if they had ordered a cup of chicken noodle soup. </div><div><br></div><div><i>Chicken noodle soup? </i></div><div><br></div><div>Who comes to a place like Corner Bakery and orders a CUP of chicken noodle soup? Do they not KNOW about the Club Panini? The combos that include salad, soup, <i>and</i> a sandwich? The Maple Pecan Squares or the Monster Cookies? Do they not fear they will be stark-raving HUNGRY when they leave if they only have a cup of chicken noodle soup? No coffee? Really? I feel kind of sorry for that person. Who does that?</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>No one was claiming it. I assumed a mistake had been made. It was surely an add-on to the mom of 4's order. Sometimes the kids eat more than you think they will, ya know? </div><div><br></div><div>But no. The server moved past me, glanced to the left and stopped. </div><div><br></div><div>Booty Girl. </div><div><br></div><div>Seeing that her plastic number was a match to the singular cup of brothy nothingness the server gently slid said nothingness in front of little black bum lady. I couldn't contain myself as I actually let out a brief Lol.Of course! This is exactly who orders a cup of chicken noodle soup at Corner Bakery. </div><div><br></div><div>In all seriousness. I know better than to judge a book by its cover. Or a lady by her bum. For all I know she could have had a virus. And for all those people who were reading me at the Corner Bakery know, I could have eaten like a tight-booty gal today.</div>
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Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-65696055014166626172013-08-15T14:34:00.001-05:002013-08-15T14:38:58.154-05:00Precious MemoryI think it's funny that I decided if I didn't have anything to write about I would do a "gratitude post." As if that is something less important that what <i>I</i> <i>have to say</i> about...whatever. How self-absorbed. Duh.<br />
<br />
Anyway...Today's gratitude post is about memory. I realized last night at a prayer meeting when we were directed to pray in thanksgiving for memories what a magnificent thing our memory is. I've never really thought about how unique the memory is. The ability to replay something in our mind. A decade, a year, a season, a day, a moment--we can recall because of memory. And attached to the mental picture comes sound, feeling, smell, emotion. A memory has the potential to engage the <i>whole</i> person, physically, mentally, emotionally and definitely spiritually. The more that I think about it, I believe our memory could be one of the most spiritual things about us. God certainly has purpose in everything He creates. I am overwhelmed as I begin to think of all the ways and reasons our memory is needed in our relationship with God...<br />
<br />
So we can remember where we've been. Yes, even the most disgusting, deplorable pit imaginable can be turned to glorify God when we remember. And when we are in the bottom of the same pit looking up we can <i>remember</i> that He's pulled us out before. We can<i> remember</i> His promises. The remarkable, miraculous ability He's given us to permanently engrave His words on our heart and in our minds and souls so that we might stay in the safety of His ways. We can <i>remember. </i><br />
<br />
And for just sheer grace. Memories of happy times. The moment the doors flung open and the groom saw his bride. The time the family loaded up and headed to Six Flags on a Sunday morning whim. The time the test finally had two pink lines. The time the light was finally at the end of the tunnel. Hope, joy and happiness are just a thought away because of memory.<br />
<br />
There is a song by Ginny Owens called <b>If You Want Me To </b>that is one of my very favorites. There are a couple of lines at the end that always bring that big lump up in the back of my throat. She talks about remembering:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself<br />
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help<br />
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through<br />
And I will go through the darkness if You want me to </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout<br />
I'm gonna look into Your eyes and see, You never let me down<br />
So take me on the pathway that will lead me home to You</i></blockquote>
<div class="verse" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="verse" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm gonna look into Your eyes and see, You never let me down. Wow. God will one day redeem our memory. We will be able to remember our whole lives with full knowledge of Who He is. We will remember in a new way. I think this will give us the ability to worship in Spirit and in Truth unlike we ever have before. Just something cool to think about. Basically, and ultimately we have a memory so we can glorify God. </span></div>
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></span>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-22589444741624896552013-08-13T08:29:00.001-05:002013-08-13T08:35:16.663-05:00Cheeseburgers, Scales & Expectations<img height="192" 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" width="320" /><br />
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You know what I hate? I hate when I get on the scale with an expectation and the number that appears is NOT low enough to make all of my sacrifice worth it. What has happened in that moment so many times in the past is that I decide right then and there that cheeseburgers are a more dependable way to be satisfied than losing weight. So I go spend the rest of the day stuffing my face with cheeseburgers.<br />
<br />
The problem with this is that it's stupid. Because cheeseburgers are not dependable. Neither is a scale. I mean, they are dependable for the thing that they were<i> meant </i>to deliver. A tasty meal. A tool to measure weight. But neither is dependable to satisfy me.<br />
<br />
Expectations are a dangerous thing if they do not consider the primary purpose of the object of expectation. The primary job of a cheeseburger is to taste good, not to make me feel good. The primary job of a scale is to measure weight, not to make me feel good.<br />
<br />
But still, I am dying to be satisfied. Good news: The primary purpose of Christ is to satisfy me.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text Ps-63-5" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">My soul will be <span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14845J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></span>satisfied as with fat and rich food,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-63-5" style="position: relative;">and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-63-6" id="en-ESV-14846" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">6 </span>when I remember you <span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14846K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></span>upon my bed,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-63-6" style="position: relative;">and meditate on you in <span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14846L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></span>the watches of the night;</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-63-7" id="en-ESV-14847" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">7 </span>for you have been my help,</span><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-63-7" style="position: relative;">and in <span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14847M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></span>the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="text Ps-63-8" id="en-ESV-14848" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">8 </span>My soul <span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14848N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></span>clings to you;</span><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-63-8" style="position: relative;">your right hand <span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14848O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></span>upholds me.</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">Psalm 63:6-8</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> </span></i><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">And the primary purpose of me is to glorify God. Love how it all comes together in these words from John Piper:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 20px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him” John Piper</b></span></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a></blockquote>
Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-74888572055945190482013-08-11T23:41:00.001-05:002013-08-11T23:44:21.802-05:00On CoffeeContinuing on with my efforts to blog even when I have nothing to say, here is another gratitude entry:<br />
<br />
I have been so thankful for coffee lately. I mean it really is such a perfectly delightful thing. I am sad that there are some people who do not like coffee. Really, I am. When I meet people one of the standard questions I ask them is in regards to their stance on coffee. "Hi, nice to meet you, _____. Where do you live? Ahh. What do you do? Mmmm, that's cool. And do you drink coffee?..." The last person I asked said no and I think I actually apologized to her without thinking...I'm sorry. That's just how much I love coffee.<br />
<br />
And it's such a simple thing that I wonder how someone even came up with it. To take some green little beans, roast them, grind them up, then steep with water and drink? Genius...but I would have never thought of that. Every morning when I am pouring in the cream and measuring out the spoon-fuls of sugar I give thanks to God for the grace that is coffee. It gives me so much joy! And I know I could live without it because I have before. But I'd just rather not. I wonder if part of my love for coffee has to with the fact that when I was little my grandmother used to serve me milk and sugar with a splash of coffee in the most beautiful and dainty tea cups with saucers. I still like to drink coffee in a tea cup. It's all about quality over quantity for me and coffee. Well, the quantity of the cream and sugar do matter. But I'd rather have a tiny cup of perfectly brewed coffee than gallons of gross coffee.<br />
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This is gonna sound really weird but I think of coffee as a friend sometimes. Probably not a great thing. But when I am stressed or lonely or fighting temptation coffee is my go-to companion. And coffee reminds me of God's great gifts that are so simple and yet so amazing! Coffee brings people together. It forces you to slow down. It helps you think...sometimes the most brilliant ideas come between sips. It can really be an art if you so choose for it to be. Coffee is one of the rare things that smells so irresistibly delicious and then actually delivers on taste to the same degree.(You know there are some food smells that really beat the food's actual taste by a long shot. Coffee is not in that camp.) Coffee makes me think of people I love, it makes me think of warmth when all my surroundings seem cold. It makes me think of home, stability, and simplicity. If I could learn to drink it black it is like zero calories and supposedly has great health benefits in moderate quantities. I doubt that will happen, but you never know.<br />
<br />
Coffee is just so, so, so GOOD. Thank You, God for coffee. The end.<br />
<img height="318" src="http://www.kaboodle.com/hi/img/b/0/0/162/9/AAAAC9SnaAIAAAAAAWKfCQ.jpg?v=1308535645000" width="320" /><br />
<br />
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-65534920578759448032013-08-10T11:04:00.003-05:002013-08-10T11:07:09.007-05:00Choosing Tomorrow's Moments<span style="color: black;">
</span><span style="color: black;">Yesterday was one of those days that seem to drag on and on as you are
fighting to live in the moment but in every moment you are just wanting to eat
a big bag of chips. So it's kinda hard, living in the moment. That was
yesterday.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: black;">
</span><br />
<img src="http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi0wMzg0ZjUzYmY4MTk3ODU0.png" /><br />
<br />
I never ate a huge bag of chips. I did live in the moment for the most part. Feeling how that feels when you want something so bad and you could have it but you know you shouldn't so you just sit there and let God hold you down--that actually is painful. Or the way it feels when you want to say something so bad and you could but you know you shouldn't so you just sit there and let God put a hand over your mouth. Excruciating in that moment. And you breathe deep breaths through your nose and you try to remember why you are being silent. Or why you aren't going to Dollar General for the chips. Thinking it through. Pacing. Remembering. Feeling the burn of surrender. This is living in the moment for me, at the moment.<br />
<br />
It felt pretty uncomfortable yesterday but today it feels right and satisfactory. Today I don't have to live in the moments of regret and discouragement. I can live in moments of praise and amazement at the grace that held me down and covered me. And in moments of believing that He will do it again. And again and again.<br />
<br />
Today's surrender is tomorrow's freedom.<br />
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a><a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"></a><br />
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-37079772893296276212013-08-07T22:50:00.001-05:002013-08-07T22:53:14.023-05:00Who's the Boss?Eating Disorder. Disordered eating. What about "ordered eating"? As in, not eating too much. Not eating too little. Not obsessing over eating. Eating normally...What is eating normally? Just eating to live? No, I don't think that's all there is to it. Eating is closely associated with celebration and I believe that is okay. Eating is closely associated with comfort and I believe<i> </i>that is also okay. Eating is closely associated with Christ in many ways, namely that he tells us to eat and drink in remembrance of Him. So that one <i>must</i> be okay.<br />
<br />
He tells us to eat to remind us of our need for Him and how easily do we forget about that? We think we only need ourselves. This is precisely what leads to disordered eating. This is precisely what leads to disordered...anything! In Genesis 3 disorder began. Eve forgot who God was. She put herself in the place of God. She ate in a disordered way. She did not eat to live. She did not eat to celebrate. She did not eat for comfort. She did not eat as a way to remember and give thanks for the blessings of God. She ate because she forgot to remember who God is.<br />
<br />
A good friend recently observed, <b>God is the Boss of us</b>. He really is.<br />
<br />
I'm just wondering if it really could be as simple as remembering that. Remembering that God created. Remembering that what God created was good. Remembering that like Adam and Eve we are slaves to disorder and sin apart from the perfect life and unfathomable death of Jesus. Remembering that He <i>demonstrates </i>his love by coming for us. Again and again and again. Remembering that we need Him and we <i>need</i> the food that He provides to sustain us for another day. Remembering that He is boss and He knows best.<br />
<br />
What if a meal became a time to remember rather than a time to freak out, pig out or hide out? We can choose to remember. We can choose to allow Him to <i>order </i>every part of our lives, including our relationship with food. In Genesis 1 there was order. There was normalcy. In the beginning, there was blessing and there was peace; there was order. The good news is that Christ took away the curse of sin, yet He did not take away the blessings of obedience. That is so cool to me. So gracious! Following Jesus... remembering who He is and what He's done, believing it and <i>acting</i> on it...puts us on the pathway that leads back to the way things were in the beginning. When He goes first, everything else somehow gets put back in order. <i style="color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #001320; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></i> <br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">I'm going to pray for God to reveal ways to remember who He is as I struggle through temptation associated with food. How awesome would it be if the very thing (food) that has inflicted so much pain, heartache and so much disorder in my life, God would turn to a thing that would always and forever be reminding me who <i>He</i> is instead? That sounds just like something He would do. I'm asking for it.</span></span></div>
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-52598854699471721042013-08-02T09:49:00.001-05:002013-08-02T09:56:08.443-05:00Life or Death<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><i>This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">I feel the weight of this truth so profoundly today.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Last night I was told about a morbidly obese man who died in a fast food drive-thru line. Right in his car. CPR was administered but it was too late. God rest his soul. I can't imagine the heartache that follows a tragedy like that for his family and friends. I'm most definitely not writing about this to impose judgement. For all I know this man was trying hard to become healthy and I don't know for a fact that his obesity was the direct cause of death. But it just made me think of how many times I have pulled into a drive-thru line to order something that I know I shouldn't. I have felt so shameful, so frustrated and so helpless and so hopeless. I pray that was not the condition of this man and that he was just happily driving through for a quick lunch. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The fact remains that over-eating and obesity is a serious problem. It causes death. It causes pain, heartache, sadness, depression, disease and ultimately it causes death. Do we understand the seriousness of this? Or are we winking and chuckling as we reach for the 3rd brownie at a party or heading to the fast food restaurant for the 5th time this week? People die of drug and alcohol abuse. We shake our heads. <i>So sad. </i>Serious issue. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Well, I am serious. If I do not make a turn in my life, the path I am on leads to death. I might as well take up drinking or crack cocaine. People may say, <i>that's not the same thing</i>. <i>Food addiction doesn't affect your daily life.</i> <i>You can still be functional</i>. Well, maybe you can but I can't. At least not the way God intends for me to function. And if it's not the way He intends then it's not life to me. Not <i>real</i> life. And if it's not real life then its just as good as death.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">On the other hand, this week I experienced the death of a close friend of mine. She was exactly 40 years older than me; we shared the same birthday. Miss Fairry was a member of my First Place 4 Health group and for the past 5 years or so I saw in her an example of what it means to truly live. Choosing life for herself each day as she took care of others, encouraged others and made her health a priority, she did the latter so that she could do the former. Taking care of her body was not about looking cute or impressing people. It was not about getting to a certain number on the scale or being perfect. It was about being able to truly live for her. To be able to fully serve God in any and every way that He would lead her. And it was about joy. It was about discipline for 6 days of the week so she could enjoy a plate of fried catfish with her husband on Friday nights before they went dancing! Yes, dancing. Miss Fairry died peacefully in her sleep earlier this week. She chose life so that she could live. Right up until she went home.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">One of the things that I will always think of when I think about her is scripture memory. She spent most of her life believing that she could not memorize scripture. Somewhere along the way during her time spent in the FP4H program she began memorizing scripture. Lots of it. I loved hearing the enthusiasm in her 70-something voice as she spoke of the ways the Lord was still changing her. What an encouragement she was to me. As I've thought so much about her this week, the verse from Deuteronomy keeps coming back to me. It is one we all memorized together and I know the Spirit of the Lord is </span></span><span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">still encouraging me through the life of this remarkable woman as He whispers: </span><span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><i>You have a choice... </i></span></span><i style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Now choose life.</i><br />
<i style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></i>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XcBv37DwmqQ/UfvIU_0lOXI/AAAAAAAAGmc/SUyte7t8mVk/s1600/fpgroup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XcBv37DwmqQ/UfvIU_0lOXI/AAAAAAAAGmc/SUyte7t8mVk/s1600/fpgroup.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Miss Fairry is on bottom right. Love that joyful smile. She always looked just like this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></i></div>
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-40828960255231531792013-08-01T20:58:00.002-05:002013-08-01T21:02:25.237-05:00TodayI am basically having to force myself to write here. I think it's important because God is nudging me to do so, and I will, but I'm just saying...I don't really have much to say. At least regarding food, weight and the like. That's probably for the best. So what I'm going to do is record a couple of things I am grateful for today.<br />
<br />
First of all I think, if my math is correct, I did 3 loads of laundry today. I know that's not a big deal for 99% of people but for that minute remainder, aren't you proud of me? I'm grateful that I remembered to change out the loads and restart our dying dryer at the right intervals so that I got in three loads of clothes! Amazing. Grateful of course that we have that many clothes, even. Now if I can just get them off of my bed and into their homes before I fall asleep on top of them...<br />
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Second I'm grateful that I had plenty of groceries to make 3 semi-healthy meals for both me and the kids today. That is not always the case, but only because I forget to go to the grocery store (or put it off), certainly not for lack of provision...<br />
<br />
Which leads me to the third thing I am grateful for and that is my husband. He is just a jewel. And I love him.<br />
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Fourth, I am thankful for the peace of God that has kept me calm today and allowed me to focus on things I need to focus on even during the midst of sadness from the passing of a dear friend. I am so thankful for all the memories I have of this woman, for each and every one of them directs my thoughts to Abba Father.<br />
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Okay! That was fun.<br />
<br />
P.S. I just went and tucked the kids into bed and my son had a total bad attitude. So I thought, "I will have them tell me what they are thankful for today!" So I asked. Daughter answered sweetly. Son answered two things he is "hateful" for. Then I stepped on two pieces of hard plastic toys with my bare feet. So I guess to put in Jonah's terms, I'm kinda hateful for that last part of the day but trying to find the good in it. G'night.<br />
:-/<br />
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-33440278363683037402013-07-29T22:18:00.000-05:002013-07-29T22:29:18.162-05:00Freedom and TaquitosMost of the truth I've learned about God through the years has been surprising to me. Perhaps that observation is surprising but it shouldn't be. His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are His ways my ways. Pretty much, if I think it's going to go down a certain way, it's not. <br />
<br />
This line of thinking brings to mind taquitos. I was eating at a really good, authentic Mexican food restaurant the other day and one of the girls with me ordered Taquitos. When our order came out, however, the food on her plate was not taquitos. <br />
<br />
You know what I'm talking about, the little yellow sticks filled with some kind of mystery meat concoction that you buy in the freezer section and serve at parties to to dip in fake cheese and salsa. Yeah, those. <br />
<br />
But that's not what was on her plate. <br />
<br />
She politely pushed her food around for a while until the waitress came by and noticed she wasn't eating. I heard some of their exchange...long story short the waitress said that in fact those <em>were </em>taquitos. They were just real-deal taquitos. But you see, my friend likes impostor taquitos. She's so used to the fake thing that when the real deal came along she didn't even recognize it, much less want it. What can I say? The girl craves fake, frozen taquitos.<br />
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I couldn't really empathize with her. That plate of food looked dang good to me. But while I would gladly gobble up a big plate of authentically prepared taquitos, I'm thinking that all this time I've been looking for freedom and its been right in front of me...I just haven't recognized it because it's not what I though it would be. I've been looking for the worldly idea of what freedom is. The all-about-me kind of freedom. Feel-good freedom. Indulgent freedom. Overnight freedom. Fake, frozen, impostor freedom.<br />
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His ways are not the same as mine. His freedom is not going to be the way I envision it. Authentic freedom has never come without a fight. It's never come without pain or payment of a high price. Never without sacrifice. And surprisingly, but truly, never without boundaries. <br />
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It may be time to put my big-girl panties on and go with authenticity. I think I'm ready to sacrifice my expectations and put faith in a plan that is not going to be 100% pleasant for me. Commitment. Drastic Measures. Relentlessness. Obedience. Complete dependence on Another Way...<br />
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Real-deal freedom is going to be surprising, right? It's going to be nothing I thought it would be. But I believe it will be everything I never knew I wanted it to be and more.<br />
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<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2055&version=NIV" target="_blank">Invitation to the Thirsty</a><br />
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All that said, I'm about to fire up the blog again. My goal is 2 to 3 times per week so be on the look-out.<br />
<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5294634451803784488.post-3070482932595403012013-02-08T11:22:00.005-06:002013-02-08T11:25:04.124-06:00Fixer-Upper<a href="http://www.countryliving.com/homes/renovation-and-remodeling/old-home-renovation-before-and-after-0910#slide-2" target="_blank"><img alt="rotting yellow house" height="312" src="http://www.countryliving.com/cm/countryliving/images/CLX-NY-Farmhouse-house-before-0910.jpg" width="400" /></a><a href="http://www.countryliving.com/homes/renovation-and-remodeling/old-home-renovation-before-and-after-0910#slide-2" target="_blank"><img alt="house" height="312" src="http://www.countryliving.com/cm/countryliving/images/CLX-NY-Farmhouse-house-after-0910-22201304.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(<i><a href="http://www.countryliving.com/" target="_blank">Country Living</a></i> photos)</span><br />
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Several years ago we sold our house. We had lived there for a while; long enough to put a few holes in the walls, break a faucet, see some wear and tear on doors, walls, carpets, etc. So when it came time to sell we had to "fix it up." Little things here and there were taken care of over the course of a week or so and by the time we were ready to go on the market I felt like I was living a new home! It was wonderful. The walls and floors looked so nice! There were no squeaks...the water came out of the kitchen faucet in a nice steady stream...the carpet was back to it's original color. I was asking myself (and my husband) why had we not done all of these things sooner! It wasn't too difficult, it didn't cost that much and the results were terrific.<br />
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What the HECK!?<br />
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I think this is a good analogy for the way we are with our bodies--the home God has given us to live in for the time being. He made us in an awesome and wonderful way. But the things that we have put into our bodies, the neglect that happens over time can make it a not-so-fun place to be. It can almost feel like we're trapped in a terrible place.<br />
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But we have the power to change that! Small repairs make a huge difference. Breaking one habit and replacing it with another. Getting out for a few minutes each day to move. Spending some extra time at the grocery store to pick out items that will benefit the body rather than harm it. It only takes a few small changes to begin to see that if we care for our bodies the way they were made to be cared for we will be happy to live inside them!<br />
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I don't want to wait for depression to set in again or a dire health diagnosis to decide to change. That's just like waiting until we were about to sell the house to make the improvements. We could have had the fixed-up version all those years if we'd just taken the time for repairs and up-keep. Like I said, it really wasn't that big a deal. It always seems more difficult in our minds to fix something than it really is.<br />
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This body is the only "home" we will ever have as long as we are here on earth. It's never too late to make changes. And doesn't everyone just love a good "fixer-upper"!?<br />
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<a href="http://s449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/?action=view&current=sigblk.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq219/fergusok/sigblk.png" /></a>Keeliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05949437924682031860noreply@blogger.com17