Weigh In: Maintenance

172.5--Hey, I'll take it! I should not have gotten away with the very bad behavior that I exhibited over the past weekend. We went on a little getaway during which I abandoned everything that I have come to believe in, health-wise. I spent three days eating the worst crap imaginable, did no exercise and topped it off with the creme de la creme of my kids Halloween candy, aka: chocolate or "the good stuff."

When I returned from the weekend of chili, chips, burgers, dips, more chips, brownies, gravy, and many, many more chips, I knew it would not be pretty on the scale. Nevertheless, I did the Monday morning "step of shame." I was shocked to see a 177.5. That is 5 whole pounds in 5 days!

The punishment did not stop there. I have been SICK as a dog ever since we got back. Headaches, nausea, fatigue. I have not eaten like that, for that many days in a row, in nearly a year. So you can imagine the shock to my digestive system. Not fun. At all. :( The crazy thing is, this is how I used to eat all the time. My poor body! I can't believe what I put it through on a daily basis!

But I am glad this happened. It was a mini-scale example of what could happen if I let myself get out of control throughout the holiday season. The bottom line--IT'S. NOT. WORTH. IT. Period. The food is not worth it. It's just food, someone reminded me recently. For all the grief the abuse of food can and will cause, it's simply not worth it.

This was my fastest screw-up recovery to date. Immediately on Monday I got back on track eating-wise. Tuesday I got back on track with exercise and by today I weighed 172.5 again. The same as I did one week ago. Of course ideally I would not have screw-ups but while I'm still having them, as in: while I'm still human, my goal is to continue to improve on the speed of my recoveries.

This 2-day bounce back was quite a feat for me. It is so exciting to see the changes not only in my physical appearance but in how my mind works differently now and how my emotions take a back seat to reality. These are the changes that are going to matter most in the long run.

Speaking of long run...I have a marathon relay coming up in one month. I have to be able to run 5 MILES! 3 is the most I've done at one time. Yikes!

Weigh In: 2 lb. Loss

172.5 lbs. Me and Norma, my workout buddy. Everybody needs a Norma :)

It feels so good to have the scale moving again!

For those who may be new to this blog, it has been a while since I have had steady losses. Like 6 months!!! In May I reached the 50 lb. lost mark. I was averaging about 7 lbs. a month leading up to that milestone. Since then I have only lost 7 pounds! (Which averages about 1 pound per month.) However--the over all average is about 4 pounds per month which equals to about 1 pound per week. That is super and right on target.

It is so hard to look at the big picture when we are in the middle of a really difficult time or if we are not getting the immediate gratification that our human nature desires. But looking at the big picture is mandatory! Although I whined and had a few melt-downs, I knew that if I kept moving in the right direction, it was inevitable that I would make progress...and I was right!

There did come a point where I realized I needed to change it up a bit, in addition to keeping steady on my course. That is when I evaluated what I had been doing, asked for help, figured out a plan and then executed it. For me that was adding 20 minutes of a different type of exercise daily (The Shred) and eating 100-200 calories less per day.

Pic on left is before starting The Shred, pic on right is 7 workouts later.

If you are losing heart and thinking this is not worth it--STOP! It is worth it and you can do it. Stay the course! Reevaluate if needed, but stay the course. The best advice I can give is to let go of the idea that there is a finish line. There is no finish line for healthy living. You just keeping living this way, everyday, for the rest of your life. The results will come.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23.

Alive at 30

When I was little, I remember thinking that I would surely not live past the age of 30. I know that is weird. I was. I am. Weird, that is. But I really thought that something horrible would happen to me and that I would never make it into adulthood. I lived in fear all the time.

Switching gears for a minute...

Housekeeping has never been my strong suit and I will blame that fact on many of the same traits that contributed to my former obesity--perfectionism, anxiety, laziness. And then there's the pure hatred for cleaning in general. But the Lord has been working on me.

This morning as I was doing a seemingly menial task--putting clothes in the washer--I had an "aha" moment. I had already made a bed, washed a toilet and sink, loaded a dishwasher, done my Bible Study and dressed down to the shoes (Thank you, Fly Lady!)

Standing in front of my washer, I began to sort through dirty and torn little-boy clothes, pink and ruffled little-girl clothes, the work gear of my firefighter husband and my stinky workout clothes. I realized that each of these things represented something huge that was a direct result of God's mighty hand of protection and provision in my life.

With tears streaming down my face, I tossed clothes in the wash and found myself perfectly happy and content to be doing what I was doing. I felt like I was engaged in the most important task in the world simply because it is what I know I am purposed to do. I felt more alive than ever in my tiny, cramped utility room that used to be too small for me to even fit inside (No, really!)

I stood there and thought... Now THIS! This is living.

How interesting that I spent my first 30 years believing that life was about to end. When God knew all along that my life was really just about to begin! Leave it to the witty and eloquent Author of Life to write me a story like this. The attention to detail is impeccable.

He truly does give us the desires of our heart, if we are willing to first lay them at His feet.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4,5

Feeling mighty blessed today! My cup runneth over...

The Great Escape

Before I began to learn about health I had no idea how scary obesity really is. It causes all of the major diseases that have the potential to kill people. Once I became aware of that, I felt a very strong sense of urgency. I felt like I needed to escape.

Me, last year. This is what obesity looks like. Scary.

Drum roll please......................................................

As of today, I can officially say that I have made the great escape from obesity!

What an emotional milestone this is! Up to this point I have been able to see and feel the changes but this seems so monumental. I am relieved, I am proud, and I am humble all at the same time...if that is possible. My BMI is now below 30 which moves me into the overweight bracket and out of the obese bracket. I know I still have a ways to go. I mean, I'm not going to stay overweight forever, but today, being "overweight" seems pretty okay to me.

A while back, a reader asked if I had ever thought about the question Where Would I Be? As in, where would I be right now if I had not made all of these positive changes in my life. I mentioned that I hadn't given the question much thought, and yet it as I began writing about it I realized that the question actually seemed very familiar to me.

The reason is because I actually have thought about that question a lot in my life. Where would I be? Only when I was thinking about it, I was OBESE and being held captive by my previous failures and defeat. Wallowing in the aftermath of diet after diet, I was always left asking myself...

Where would I be if I had just kept going?

Where would I be if I hadn't let the scale get me down?

Where would I be if I had relied on God more and myself less?

Where would I be if I had chosen to do what seemed impossible?

Where would I be if I hadn't given up?"

Where would I be?

This is it, BABY! I'm here.

Weigh In: 1 lb. Loss

174.5 lbs

Scale moving = :o)

I have become highly aware that the scale has WAY to much power over my state of mind. I am very close to packing the scale away for a few weeks, but I'm not quite there yet. In the past, when I had been slacking off, I thought about hiding the scale as a way to avoid reality. At this point in time, I'm beyond that. But I have realized that seeing something I don't like on the scale in the morning has the potential to sway my whole day. Good sway or bad sway, that is wrong. So, if I can't get rid of this unhealthy relationship with the scale, I may have to crush it to smithereens get rid of it.

But for today--the scale remains. (Probably because I liked what I saw this morning. LOL)

I have been doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. Today will be day 7 for me. I really love it. A 20 minute workout--you get cardio, strength and abs-- and the results are fast! I can already see a difference in my arms and waist. It is hard, I won't lie. But like Jillian reminds me, you can't workout for 20 minutes and expect results without working hard! It's worth it.

¡Vale la pena!

A friend of mine uses this phrase often. It means "It's worth the pain" in Spanish. There is so much that is painful about weight loss. If you approach it in a comprehensive way, one in which you are dealing with the mental, emotional and spiritual fronts as well as the physical, it can be nearly debilitating.

Fact: Change is painful.

Facing our weaknesses, our mistakes and our failures hurts! But we can not truly change with out doing these things. Pushing through the pain is the victory and it is THE ONLY WAY to get where you want to go. You and I have to understand and accept that.

I did a vlog in February in which I predicted that I would be to goal by now. Well, I'm not. I was thinking about that a lot this week and the Lord pointed out something to me. I may not be at the weight goal I set for myself, but this lifestyle? It's not really one I am trying to adapt anymore. It IS my lifestyle. I am a different person. I am a new person in Christ.

So here's what I'm thinking--I am at "goal". It's not the goal I set for myself; it's not even a goal I knew I wanted to reach. In the beginning I didn't really want to give up my lifestyle--I just wanted to be skinny. The goal God had for me (and has for you) is beyond anything I could have wanted or imagined. I will spend the rest of my life telling the world...

My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:4-9

Oh, how He loves us! And this is also makes me = :0)