News: I Cooked Something

These are the fabulous potatoes I made for lunch today. A pretty healthy (and easy!) way to get a fried potato fix. You boil some small potatoes (leave them whole) for about 30 minutes. The smallest ones worked best, between the size of a tennis ball and a ping pong ball. When a fork goes in easily, remove the potatoes and dry them off on a towel. Like this:

Then you put them on a pan lined with foil and parchment paper. I sprayed it with olive oil. Then flatten each potato with  a spatula to about 1/2 in. It's okay if they come apart some. I just formed them back into circles. Drizzle with olive oil and a liberal amount of salt and pepper. You could probably be more adventurous with the spices but I wanted simple. Bake at 450 for about 30 minutes until the tops and edges are golden and crispy. I served with tilapia and a salad. Justin said I outdid myself on lunch today. I said, "Yeah, simply by cooking something, I outdid myself." That's kind of sad. It has been awhile. But I'll take the compliment! It was pretty delicious, if I do say so myself.

I had an enjoyable trip to the market yesterday. The fridge got cleaned out and only healthy stuff is in there now. Whoo-hoo!

I found these pretty ceramic refrigerator/microwaveable storage bowls at Marshall's. I LOVE them! I hate the plastic storage containers because I always have lids that don't match containers and they just clutter everything up. Plus I think they are bad for you. And the earth. Anyway, I usually leave the leftovers in them forever and then when I finally clean out the fridge I end up tossing the containers rather than wash them. LAZY! But I will never throw these beauties away.

I feel like I'm getting the food part under control. Now for the motivation to get outside and exercise! It seems to be there but it is so dang cold! I got all dressed up, had earbuds and everything to go for a walk today and one step outside changed my mind. I am praying for some slightly warmer, less windier days this week so I can get moving while it seems somewhat appealing. (Yes, I could do some things inside but I don't like to.) Want to try jogging a mile 3 days. Maybe walk some other days. It's a start. I am dreaming of another half marathon...but mustn't get ahead of myself. We'll see what progress the week brings.

This photo kind of sums up our day. Loved it.

Weigh-in tomorrow.

Kindred Spirits

Kindred spirits aren't so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world. -Anne of Green Gables

I am touched by all the supportive comments from my blog post last night. I am overwhelmed by the way God places people in our lives to uplift and encourage. How many of us are in the same boat! We have struggled for so, so long. It takes courage to keep going. I pleaded with God for that courage and new answers for us all. For Him to show us a different way and to give us strength to go there. I believe He will answer that prayer.

I won't pretend that I am strong, as if suddenly I'm ready to tackle this again. I'm not. I'm weak. As difficult as it may be to realize, we are unified in our weakness, not our strength. But we know that in our weakness His strength is made perfect. For all that weakness, the collective weakness of us kindred spirits, there is infinitely more strength in Christ.

That's our hope, that's our courage.

I'm excited and thankful for the opportunity to begin again, with you all. Humbled by your love and solidarity.

Real fat, again.

Okay, time's up. I've got to get back to business. I've been trying since September. Well, actually I've been talking since September. A lot of talk, very little action.

I have gained about 30 pounds over the past year. None of my clothes fit. I'm very irritable. I don't feel good, period. The point has been proven that I can't just haphazardly address my diet and activity. There is a certain way that things must be done, certain boundaries that must be in place for me to stay healthy. If it took me gaining 30 lbs to know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, then so be it. I'm ready to return to the way of life that brought me so much joy!

I thought long and hard about whether or not I would go back to writing this blog regularly. It got to the point where I felt like there was nothing new for me to write about. Occasionally it is a really difficult thing to do. I tend to become obsessive with it, get my feelings hurt. I make a fool of myself (Do you know that when you "Google" my name about one million pictures of me standing in front of a mirror appear!? Ugh.) I wonder if I am missing something really big and everything I write about is folly.

But, in the end I decided that the blog is just a part of the deal for me. There are new things for me to be REAL about, I just gotta hang in here long enough to see what they are. And I will have to be okay with the possibility likelihood of futility.

Attempting About-face

I began exercising this week. The Lord graciously and unexpectedly provided me with two workout buddies that are committed to being physically fit and committed to encouraging one another and me! It is so awesome because I have been praying for a buddy whose schedule would be compatible with mine...and I got two! We did a couch to 5K workout this morning and made plans for next week. We will also be setting goals together. I am pumped about this!

It has taken a few weeks months just to stop myself from going full steam ahead in the wrong direction, but now it feels like the ship is finally starting to turn. Over the past 12 months I have gained about 30 lbs. Slowly, surely choice by little choice I did that. As I have known for quite some time, the weight gain is merely an outward evidence of an inward problem. Being FAT is not the problem; WHY I am fat is the problem.  But I digress...When I finally realized how far I had gone off course it seemed like quite a daunting undertaking to get back where I was. But then again, so does heart failure, high blood pressure, cancer...among other things that are more likely to happen to me if I'm overweight. So I really began praying about getting turned back in the right direction. I knew that I could not motivate myself out of thin air to get back on track. It has been slow going since then but I feel like I am beginning to get more and more traction each week. I am slowly beginning to make better eating choices, still with an extra splash of creamer here and there, but I'm good with that.

As I was walk/running this morning I had an awesome thinking session. It hit me that nothing of REAL importance is different today than it was one year ago. Yes, I do weigh 30 pounds more and none of my clothes fit but those are not things that, in the long run, matter. Maybe they matter to people. Maybe others notice the way I look on the outside. Probably not so much, but if even if they do what does that mean to me? What can man do to me?  What can the thoughts of man do to me? I refuse to be trapped by a fear of man.

What is significant is that I am forgiven for the backsliding, laziness and gluttonous behavior that has occurred and I am turning the ship around. I am asking for help to turn the ship around. I can still make the same choices I was making a year ago and not have to worry about anything else. I am capable. (2 Peter 1:3) The good choices--that is what was on target one year ago. Not how I looked. And making good choices can happen right now. There is nothing stopping me from making those choices. If I allow myself to indulge in self-pity, self-disgust, wallowing in the fact that shopping (among other things) isn't as fun right now... then I will not be able to focus on doing the next right thing. I will instead be focused on how long it will take to make shopping fun again and then I will just want to quit. Is my goal in life to have fun shopping? Nope.

Moving forward. Slowly, surely.

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Proverbs 29:25

It's Complicated

"People make things complicated because they do not want to do them. Stop complicating things and just do them."

Ugh.

I read that somewhere this week (for the life of me can't remember who or where it came from) and it was a gut punch. Yes! Just do things. If I spent one tenth of the time actually doing the things I think about, analyze, debate, research, etc. I might just be king of the world....

But honestly, that's easier said than done. I could just vow that I am going to start, right now, never again analyzing or hashing out or going back and forth on stuff. But I'm not going to make that vow because that would be silly.

What is more reasonable is to think about all of the things that are hanging in the balance in my life right now and pick one of them to just put to rest. Quietly and without analysis. Almost without thinking about it. I can do that with one thing. One thing is a start and it's more than no things. It will be a little less talk and a little more action.

It could be anything: a relationship that needs mending, a directive that needs to be followed, a decision that needs to be made, a job that needs to be done, a mile that needs to be run...

I can make it complicated, or I can just do it.

I think what it's going to be tomorrow is to go check out a gym I've been considering "checking out" for weeks. I have been thinking about going in there for a look around. But I keep going back and forth, pros and cons, wishy-washy. Why don't I just go in there and make a decision?

Because then I will actually have to do something.

A-ha!

I believe this is what they call procrastination. Can anyone else relate?