Stop the Insanity!

re·lapse

• (of someone suffering from a disease) Suffer deterioration after a period of improvement
• A deterioration in someone's state of health after a temporary improvement
  Return to (a less active or a worse state)
• go back to bad behavior
• backsliding: a failure to maintain a higher state

I think we would be hard pressed to find someone who has attempted to lose weight and not, at some point, experienced relapse. It is a HUGE deal and it must be addressed. Because if we can beat relapse, we can win at losing!

There are clear-cut steps that can be taken to prevent a relapse. Here they are:

1. Recognize
2. Accept
3. Avoid

Learn to Recognize Our Vulnerability
This is the "work" part of it. We have to be on the constant lookout for traps and temptations. At first this will be tough because it might take a relapse actually happening in order to recognize it. But when it does, write it down. The most effective way I have found to identify the root of temptation is to find patterns. Is the stumble always happening at the same place? With the same people? At the same time? Under the same circumstances? It's probably not about the food at all, but rather a situational trigger.

One pattern that I recognized early on is that every time I go to my parents' house (where I grew up) I am tempted. It is a conditioned response for me--every time I walk in the door I go straight to the pantry and then to the fridge. Rinse and repeat until I leave...And when I finally leave I am a mess because of everything I ate.

Accept Our Vulnerability
Was it easy to accept that going to my childhood home was going to be a problem for me? No. Was is easy to accept that restaurants cause me major problems? No. Was it easy to accept that one of my all time favorite things to do, Christmastime baking, leads me down a very dark path? No. Was it easy to accept that watching TV breeds inactivity and hinders my ability to care for the people I love? No. This is the hardest part. I love going to my parents' house and I thoroughly enjoy eating out. Baking brings joy to my soul and watching TV is relaxing. I could easily say that these things are part of "who I am" and I'm not willing to give them up or compromise where they are concerned. Indeed, I did just that for many years. But look where that got me. It wasn't until I chose to ACCEPT my vulnerabilities that I could deal with them.

Avoid Our Vulnerability
This is the part that is hard to swallow. This may mean completely avoiding certain acquaintances, places, and events because of the overwhelming temptation that accompanies them. Being alone at my parents' house is one thing I never do anymore. There was a period of time that I never went to a restaurant. Family's going? Not me. (I have developed some more self-control in this area now, so I do eat out more, but I still struggle) Eliminating something that has been a huge part of our life is difficult.

However, it doesn't always have to be an elimination. Perhaps rehearsing the way you'd like to see things play out would help. Or choosing a place to eat that has a healthy option you like. Maybe you could find a new route home that doesn't go past the Taco Bell. It takes some thought, some time and some determination, but we can save ourselves from falling back into the pit. We have to take responsibility and ownership of this process and make it work for us!

This little saying has meant so much to me: "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!" In other words, you can't keep living life the exact same way and expect to see different results. This is INSANITY!

Stop it.

Some ideas expressed in this post are adapted from the First Place 4 Health book, Simple Ideas for Healthy Living, article entitled "Relapse Prevention."

Reader Questions Answered

I am so honored to have recently received awards from some special bloggers! You know how these work; you receive an award and then you spill the beans about yourself. So, here goes-- more than you EVER wanted to know about me...

Thanks to Katie and Kerri from In College, In Shape and also to Kelly from Journey to a New Me for passing on the Beautiful Blogger Award!

For this award I need to share 7 interesting facts about myself. I am going to kill two birds with one stone and answer some reader questions that I don't think I've ever answered.

1. How are you losing weight besides exercise? I am a member of First Place 4 Health. This is a healthy living program that focuses on a concept called the 4 sided person. The 4 sides are physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental. Each week I complete a Bible study that focuses on different aspects of healthy living and how to apply God's Word. I attend a weekly meeting where I weigh in, receive teaching (very similar to a Weight Watchers meeting), and review the Bible study. My eating plan is based on the government food pyramid, and my weight. Currently I am eating 1400-1600 calories per day. Here's a sample week's menu.

2. What type of exercise do you do? I am a member at a small gym where I do cardio and weight training 3-4 days a week. For cardio I mainly stay on the treadmill. I am currently running 1.5 miles and am upping that distance weekly. I alternate working lower muscle groups and upper. I do 2 reps of 15 on each machine with moderate weight. On days I can't go to the gym (when my hunk of a firefighter husband is on duty) I try to do something at home such as Biggest Loser Yoga or Cardio Max. They are both great.

3. How tall are you? I am 5'4"

4. What are some of your favorite go-to meals? The most common meal you will find around here is some type of protein simply cooked in a pan with seasonings and a few Tablespoons of olive oil. Chicken is the most popular, with pork and tilapia a close second. I cook all of them the same way. Tilapia takes about 7-8 min. (4 on each side, med. heat), pork a little bit longer (we buy the thin, boneless chops so I can have 2:) and chicken, if your butterfly a boneless, skinless breast takes just a little bit longer. I usually always have a mixed green salad with a simple homemade vinaigrette, either lemon/Dijon or balsamic. Favorite veggies include broiled asparagus, roasted potatoes, sauteed squash. I am working on a couple of new recipes that I will share (if they are good): Chicken Enchiladas and Asian Lettuce Wraps.

5. Any advice on how to lose the first 10 lbs.? I know this isn't going be very helpful, but for me the first 10 pounds is always the easiest. I guess because I am usually starting out at a large weight, I can almost lose that much in a week--without even trying too hard. But, obviously that isn't the norm. I'd say if you are having trouble with the first 10 pounds, change something. That isn't expert advice or anything, just what I would do. Not change anything major but something that you could easily knock out of your diet or easily add to your exercise regime. For instance, I love salt, but I know it is my enemy. I am waiting until I plateau and then plan to cut the salt significantly to give me a little boost.

6. Where do you live? I live in a small town about an hour north of Dallas, Texas. I grew up in this town, as did my husband. It doesn't have all the amenities of a city, but this is where my heart is. I will never leave.

7. Why are you so brave? (refers to taking pics in bathing suit, of muffin tops, sharing actual weights, etc.) I think the best answer I can give for this question is something an inspirational blogger left as a comment for me the other day:

"The thing is...I'm not ashamed of who I am or who I was because I'm becoming the person I want to be." ♥Kenz♥

Right on, ♥Kenz♥!

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Thanks also to Alexandra from Adventures of a Done Girl Named Alex for the Creative Blogger Award!

Rules for this award are:
1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.
5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them

• My favorite show on television is Sports Center on ESPN.
• I hate to cook, craft, shop and travel.
• I never want to go on a 15 day Mediterranean cruise.
• I do not love rich, fudgy, chocolaty desserts with ice cream on top.
• I am a neat, orderly person who keeps a very structured and methodical home.
• I made it to the final round of American Idol several years ago, in my hey-day.
• Every time I play hide-and-go-seek or go shopping at Marshall's, I immediately need to pee.

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And thanks also to Annette from The Smith Family for this very cool award:

For this award I need to tell where I see myself in 10 years...

In 10 years I will be 40 years old. I will have a teenager and a pre-teen (YIKES!). My husband and I will have been married for nearly 20 years. I hope to be living in the house of my dreams...nothing too extravagant but exactly the way I want it. It is my dream to own a bakery so hopefully I will be living that out in 10 years. (Ironic, isn't it?) I will be serving a loving God and living each day to the fullest. I will be in the best shape of my life and in a size 6.

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Now I am supposed to pass these awards on to my favorite bloggers. I have learned from some other sneaky wise people that if you are ever going to break the rules, these blog awards are a good time to do it. So I am going to award anyone who has ever left me a comment on REAL FAT. And I SERIOUSLY do want to honor you! Your encouragement means WAY more than you probably know and I really don't think I would be doing this without your support. Really don't. So, display your awards proudly and tell me all about you! I really, really want to know. You can pick any or all of the awards.

On a different note: I am happy to report that I feel like all my bloggy friends are starting to get it back in gear, self included. This is a great achievement--getting past the first hump. Moving right along...

This Week's Menu

Since I preached the benefits of menu planning last week, I thought I would share my menu plan for this week. Keep in mind that I am striving for the following each day:

3 c. milk (which I rarely get)
2 c. fruit
2 c. vegetables
5 oz. protein
6 oz. grains
2 tsp. healthy oil

This is based on a 1400-1600 calorie diet. I haven't really calculated my calorie intake since I began (unless I was sharing it on this blog) but I have followed the guidelines closely and the weight is coming off. (I am a member of First Place 4 Health--a Christ-centered weight loss and healthy living program. This is their eating recommendation which is based on the USDA's "New Food Pyramid" guidelines)

Monday
Breakfast--1 c. Raisin Bran, 1 c. skim milk, 1 egg, 1 slice whole wheat bread
Lunch--2 c. mixed greens, balsamic vinegar w/ 2 tsp. EVOO, 4 oz. pork chop
Dinner--WW pepperoni pizza
Snack--Skinny Cow "Skinny Dipper" (80 cal.)

Tuesday
Breakfast--1 c. organic oats, 1/4 c. (canned)pumpkin, skim milk, Equal sweetener and cinnamon
Lunch--2 slices whole wheat bread, 3 oz. turkey, 1 slice 2% cheese, mixed greens, 1/4 avocado, 2 tsp. olive oil mayo, nectarine
Dinner--(Taco Salad) 3 oz. lean ground beef, mixed greens, 2 oz. cheese, 1/4 avocado, 1/2 c. black beans, 1/2 c. mexi-corn, 2 tsp. Greek yogurt (like sour cream), salsa

Wednesday
Breakfast-- 1 c. Raisin Bran, banana
Lunch--Taco Salad (Tue. dinner leftovers)
Dinner-- 2 oz. whole wheat pasta, 4 oz. chicken breast, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, 2 T basil pesto, mixed greens w/ balsamic vinaigrette
Snack--Kellog Antioxidant Plus bar: dark chocolate almond (these are heavenly with LOTS of fiber)

Thursday
Breakfast--Egg, turkey and cheese omelet, 2 pieces whole wheat toast
Lunch--Chicken Tortilla Soup (Looking forward to that, Stacey!), mixed greens, Southwest Dressing: 2 tsp. Greek yogurt mixed with salsa, 1/4 avocado, 2 oz. shredded cheese
Dinner-- Fish tacos: 4 oz. tilapia fillet cooked in 2 tsp. EVOO, 2 corn tortillas, mixed greens, tomato, onion, 1/4 avocado, salsa
Snack--fresh fruit salad (banana, nectarines, grapes)

Friday
Breakfast-- 1 c. organic oats, 1/4 c. (canned)pumpkin, skim milk, Equal sweetener and cinnamon
Lunch--4 oz. tilapia, mixed greens, lemon vinaigrette (2 tsp. EVOO), fresh fruit salad
Dinner--2 oz. whole wheat pasta, 1/2 c. cottage cheese, 2oz. extra lean ground beef with 1 serving Prego Garden Mushroom sauce, baked zucchini "fries"
Snack--Skinny Cow "skinny dip"

Saturday
Breakfast-- (see Wed.)
Lunch--Friday's spaghetti, mixed greens, balsamic vinaigrette
Dinner--4 oz. roast beef, carrots, English peas, roasted potatoes
Snack-- orange

Sunday
Breakfast--(see Fri.)
Lunch--2 oz. roast beef, 2 slices whole wheat bread, 2 tsp. olive oil mayo, leftover veggies, fresh fruit
Dinner--Chicken Tortilla soup (from Thursday) mixed greens, Southwest Dressing: 2 tsp. Greek yogurt mixed with salsa, 1/4 avocado, 2 oz. shredded cheese
Snack--Skinny Cow "skinny dip"

Why don't you do like Minnesota Mami (and now me) and post your plan for the week? I can't eat as much food now, so at least let me READ about it for crying out loud! Thanks.

Leave Tomorrow Out of It

I'm going to start a diet...tomorrow.
I'm going to workout harder...tomorrow.
I'm going to get back on track...tomorrow.
I'm going to clean my house...tomorrow.
I'm going to call so and so...tomorrow.
I'm going to catch up on my Bible reading...tomorrow.
I'm going return the library books...tomorrow.

This list could most certainly go on and on. I'll stop to say that these are all lines I have fed to myself or others in the past. Some of them even today.

Why is it that tomorrow always seems like such a better plan than today? Probably because tomorrow has it's own tomorrow which I usually choose to wait for as well. Tomorrow is far away. I don't have to face it until well, tomorrow.

This is another one of those pesky behavior patterns I have been talking about. I have identified it in myself and now it is time to do something about it. If I examine the list from above, I can truly see the detriment my procrastination will continue to cause in my life.

I'm starting a diet tomorrow.
I could have lost a pound today.
I'm going to workout harder tomorrow.
A wasted opportunity to reach a new goal today.
I'm going to get back on track tomorrow.
Giving up on a whole day for a small mistake will make me feel horrible about myself.
I'm going to clean my house tomorrow.
The house will get a LOT more dirty today.
I'm going to call so and so tomorrow.
So and so may really need to hear a word of encouragement from me today.
I'm going to catch up on my Bible reading tomorrow.
I will miss what God has to say to me TODAY.
I'm going to return the library books tomorrow.
Today I don't owe a fine, tomorrow I do.

There is a Julia Roberts movie out there called My Best Friend's Wedding. One of the scenes has two would-be lovers riding on a boat. They are dancing, gazing into each other's eyes. They are talking about LOVE. Suddenly the boat approaches a bridge that it must pass under. As they glide into the shadow of the bridge the man looks at the woman and tells her "If you love someone, you say it right then, out loud. Or the moment just...passes you by." Neither of them say it and then they glide out of the shadow and that is when you know this movie isn't that great after all because they aren't getting together. Boo. I digress...

So here's what I'm thinking. If you want to live life like you really "mean it" then you just do stuff. Right then--when it needs to be done. I am tired of life's moments passing me by because I decided to wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow is highly overrated, it seems. For now, I'm just going to leave tomorrow out of it.

Why is that weird girl taking so many pictures of herself?

1. I enjoy visiting weight loss blogs that are full of photos. It is very encouraging to see what I might look like at a certain weight and that other people are doing this and being successful.

2. I see myself more clearly when I take a photo. It helps keep me grounded--realizing that I DO look better, but I'm still not "there." Motivation to keep moving towards the next photo.

3. One of these days I am going to have a great documentation of what I looked like before, during and after the journey.

4. It keeps me accountable and honest. Photos don't lie. I have put myself out there for all the world to see and there is no turning back now. Otherwise this would be really embarrassing.

So, there you go. I would encourage you to strike a pose today! It's kind of liberating.

Being a Stickler

I have a really good friend who recently lost nearly 100 lbs. in about a year. He has been an inspiration to the people around him and I have to say I am very proud of him. I hope to soon be able to share his story along with before and after pictures. (Hint, hint, Incognito*)

I think it is always a good idea to note habits of successful "losers" and try to follow suit wherever possible. One of the things that this individual was not afraid to do in his weight loss endeavor was to stick to his food plan no matter what.

He goes on several out-of-state hunting trips every year. I'm sure the food they eat on these trips is not exactly a picture of health. On each of the trips my friend took his own food and ate it for every meal. I think that took a lot of guts even though he says it was no big deal.

Another example of him being a food stickler is family meals. He would eat BEFORE he went. He did not even eat one single thing when he was there. I don't know what he did while everyone else was eating. I guess you could sit at the table and drink a glass of water. Chew some gum...

Even though this practice might be offensive to the maker of the meals, if it is something that helps you stay true to your plan--then by all means you should do it. You are the one who has to live with yourself and however little or much fat that might include. If forgoing a family meal is one way to help reach your goals, don't be afraid to do just that. And don't feel guilty either.

Some weight loss programs encourage you to be "flexible." In situations like those I have mentioned above, one might be taught to eat small portions of whatever is offered and just keep track of it. I think this can work for some, but for others it won't. For some people it is so much more stress-free to be able to stick to the plan they have laid out and know the exact nutritional stats of what they are eating. {That would be true for me}

I have learned from my friend that successful weight loss requires hard work and consistency. It's not always a "walk in the park" as some programs make it out to be. We are not always going to be comfortable and full. We are not always going to be able to eat whatever is at the party. I have also learned from him that you gotta do what you gotta do to stay on track. No matter what other people think.

If you are reading this and in the same boat as me (trying not to be fat anymore) I would encourage you to examine your lifestyle, where food is concerned, and make sure there is nothing you are allowing to hinder your progress just because you want to please someone else or not look silly. Don't be afraid to make necessary changes. In the long run everyone will be glad you did including the most important person--YOU!

Behavioral Analysis

Those of you who know me well are aware of my fascination with the TV show Criminal Minds. Incredible show. I had to quit watching a few months ago when I became convinced that 43% of people I encountered in any given day were serial killers.

Anyhoo...this is the Criminal Minds team. The BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) of the FBI. They specialize in analyzing criminal behaviors in order to create a "profile" so that criminals can be caught more efficiently. Spencer is my favorite. But they are all awesome.

Since I stopped analyzing every Tom, Dick, and Harry that cross my path, I have had extra time to analyze some of my own unfortunate behaviors. You know--the ones that placed me at 200+ on the scales. (Hey--the more I admit it, the less likely I am to forget it.)

You can blame it on genetics, a crummy childhood, low self-esteem, stress...whatever. These are all the types of things that might trigger bad behavioral patterns but let us note that it is, in fact, the faulty behavioral patterns that make us fat. I think I have identified the main "criminal behavior" pattern in my life.

So here it is:

1. Realize that I am called to be committed to "x" in my life
2. Gung-Ho about "x"
3. Stick to "x" until it gets boring, hard, uncomfortable, etc.
4. Quit "x"
5. Time passes with no commitment to (and usually stray far, far from) "x"
6. Repeat items 1-5
7. Repeat item 6, indefinitely

Wouldn't it just be easier (in the long run) to:

1. Realize that I am called to be committed to "x" in my life
2. Stick to "x" even when it gets boring, hard, uncomfortable, etc.
3. Repeat 1 and 2 everyday through prayer, determination and by the grace of God

Yes, I think so.

Note: I used "x" because I can apply many things other than a healthy lifestyle to this equation: daily reliance on the Lord, keeping my house in order, being consistent with my children's discipline, etc.

In keeping with the Criminal Minds theme, I will leave you with a poignant quote:

Paul (from the Bible) once said, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

My Stomach: A Bottomless Pit?

Surely not.

Sometimes it seems that way though. It has never been easy for me to know when I am "full."

I have noticed that my one year old has a pretty good indicator of when she's full. Her little tummy gets just big enough that her belly button pops out! Kind of like a Thanksgiving turkey with one of those red things that pops out to let you know it's done.

Since I haven't seen the sunny-side of my belly button in about 30 years that little trick isn't going to work for me, unfortunately.

Here are 3 things I am going to try to implement to help in this area.

1. Stop eating before I think I am full.
The rule of thumb in knowing when the right time is to stop eating is just before you begin to feel full. You will still feel just a little bit hungry. If you wait until you are completely full then it's too late. Why is this so important? Because when you eat until you are full, you are adding more calories and fat to your body. Your brain takes 15 - 20 minutes to read the signals from your stomach that you are full. This is why you should always take your time when eating. Read entire acrticle...

2. Drink a glass of water before, during and after each meal.
This will help me get full faster and it will also ensure that I get my recommended 8 glasses of water a day.

3. Pray before each meal.
This is something that I neglect to do many (most) times I eat. Not only do I need to give thanks, but also ask for God's help to recognize my body's cues to stop eating. I know He will help me.

I'll let you know how this works out.