When I thoughtfully consider the inception of this blog and everything that has transpired since, I conclude that there is no reason to be anything but grateful. I have kept off a substantial amount of weight for a number of years. I have experienced the value of discipline, transparency and forgiveness. I have begun the life-long process of learning to truly love people rather than to use or fear them.
All of these things have come to be, in part, because of the struggle I've had with food. I wouldn't change a thing about that. Not even the stubborn roll that resides just below my bellybutton. Will it ever go away for good? I don't know. I really don't. But its OK if it doesn't. The significance of that roll pales in comparison to a life changed.
I have more peace with my weight, my appearance, my worth, my purpose...than I've ever had before. Yet, here I stand. Facing a crossroads where it seems I've stood a million times before. I used to think there was only this one and that I'd shamefully keep coming back to it over and over again, forever. But what I'm wondering today is...could this be just one of many crossroads that I have come to in my journey? That I will come to? God never quits working on us; He never stops bringing us to completion. No, I really don't think I'm back to an old place at all. I'm at a new place. It's only familiar because faith is required to go the way I need to go--and faith is required at many crossroads.
I don't have to stand here as long as I used to trying to make a move. Because I know that He will carry me when I step out in the right direction. When I put my trust in Him and stop relying on myself--my analysis, my reservations, my fears--then we get moving down a good road.
It is my intention to begin a Whole 30 on April 1 and never really look back. Over the next couple of weeks I am reading up, planning and praying about this new direction. I have missed blogging about this area of my life. I so hope I will be able to keep it up consistently.
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