June 30, 2010

Weigh In: .5 lb Gain

182 lbs. (I sat down for a second while I was taking pics last week and when I looked in the mirror I about fell over! I DIDN'T KNOW I STILL LOOKED LIKE THIS SITTING DOWN!)

This photo says it all.

Still a lot of work to do. I am sorry for all the Debbie-downer posts lately. But this would not really be a true account of weight loss if I didn't have to go there sometimes.

Today I was about to enter the grocery store for some medicine when I had a literal knock-down -drag-out fight with my own self in the car. Over food that I wanted but didn't need. It wasn't pretty. There were some tears. There was ALOT of frustration.

Why is this still happening? After 6 months of what I thought was a forever-changed lifestyle, I am finding myself slipping back into old habits and even at times WANTING to go back to them.

The thought of a salad is making me sick. I don't want to cook anything. I just want to eat and eat and eat junk. And junk is bad. I don't care how you look at it--this is BAD. (Isn't it , Kate?! This has to be bad) And I thought maybe it was that TOM, but unless that TOM lasts for a month in some people, can't be it.

This is horrible. This is a serious addiction and if you don't believe me well...just do. I feel like I am under such bondage. I know that's a lie; I guess I'm just sad because it really hit me today that I am always going to have to REALLY struggle with this. And I am mad at myself. You can tell me not to be, but I still will be so don't bother.

I have faith in something bigger than me. I always have. I always believed that someday I would be saved from my weight. I still believe that and I believe that once again and forever and ever He will continue to pull me up and set my feet on a rock. So I'm waiting. I'm being still. I'm crying...and trying not to eat chocolate and quarter pounders.

In lieu of comments, please pray, dear friends.


June 29, 2010

Destination: Reality

Okay. Seriously. This little relapse of mine is over. I have fallen and I need up! I thought I would just wait for it to pass, meanwhile eating anything and everything that I wanted and even didn't really want but hey, it was there. Unfortunately, this is not going to pass on it's own. I'm actually going to have get my lazy butt up and do something about it.

This morning's breakfast was the kicker. My eyes were much bigger than my stomach, as always. I am visiting someone at a hospital so I went down to the cafeteria and loaded a plate up with biscuits and gravy, sausage AND bacon, hash browns, and a token (very tiny) bowl of fruit and yogurt.

Halfway through the meal I was sick. This food is not good. This food does not make me feel good. Is it a coincidence that I have felt like crap for the past couple of weeks? The past couple of weeks where I have barely exercised and eaten like food was soon going to be a thing of the past? No. It's no coincidence. This kind of behavior is BAD. On so many levels.

Hello...Reality? Yes, hi. I've missed you dearly. Even though I thought your wicked step-sister, "Keelie's jacked-up, fat mindset" would be a more fun place to live for a while--now I remember it's not. I just purchased a one-way ticket home to you, Reality, and I will be there by lunch.

June 27, 2010

Easy Avocado Salsa

1 can black beans (drained)
1 can chipotle shoe peg corn (drained)
1 can Rotel tomatoes
1 bell pepper (small dice)
1 red onion (small dice)
3 T pickled jalapenos, chopped
garlic salt to taste
2 avocados (small dice)
juice of 1 lemon or lime

Simply mix all ingredients except avocado and lemon. The longer it sits in fridge before serving, the better. Also key is chopping all the veggies in a small uniform size. (No one wants to get a big hunk of red onion).

Just before serving, add the avocado, squeeze lemon juice over top, toss and get out of the way--quick! This stuff is GOOD and won't last long.

Serve with chips, steak, tacos, fish...anything really.

June 24, 2010

Comfort or Truth

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth--only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.

The moment these words left the pages of the C.S.Lewis classic Mere Christianity and permeated my mind, I knew they were going to be very meaningful in my life. I wasn't exactly sure how. I wasn't exactly sure what those words meant even. But I knew they were special and I have kept them close.

Today as I struggled with urges that I haven't felt in quite some time (the urge to binge) those words from C.S. Lewis came to me...

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth--only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.

Right now I am looking for comfort. What are the things that bring me comfort? What are the things that bring you comfort? Food? Food comforts me. When the first twinge of anxiety or fear sets in, food is there. So is TV. So is shopping. But I'm on a spending freeze :) and I couldn't watch TV today, so food it was.

That Mr. Lewis is right. When we are looking for comfort, we will not find it. The Truth is what I long for...so why do I want to settle for only seeking comfort when despair is sure to follow?

I have been afraid of grief and suffering my entire life. I have tried to avoid and dilute pain and even the fear of pain, namely by eating. My simple, human mind wants to be comfortable. But my search for comfort has lead me away from the Truth. The truth is--that to fully experience life and living the way God intends, comfort has to take a back seat.

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth--only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.

I recently heard someone say something very simple but it hit me in possibly the most profound way anything ever has. She said that she wants to FEEL her whole life.

I am so afraid of feeling anything that is not comfortable to my heart. There is a breadth and depth of emotions that terrifies me. But what the Lord is showing me is that this is where truth is found. This is where my Deliverer saves and reigns and heals and ultimately COMFORTS me.

In the depths. That is where true comfort is found.

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth--only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.

I want to feel my whole life. (Wow. Did I just think that? Did I mention this is scary?) My prayer is that these lethal layers of intended protection that I have piled on myself through years and years overeating will continue to be stripped away. And even though it really scares the pants off of me, that I will allow myself to just feel stuff.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 NIV

If you are still reading, bless you. This was some deep stuff and it probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me:)
P.S. You can listen to the interview that really spoke to me about all the "feeling" stuff here. Move bar to 13:45 on the video to hear the specific portion related to this post. But the whole thing is really good!

Stuff Fat People Like

#88 Thinking of food in terms of currency.

"This is the best diet ever! I can have SO much food. It's awesome!"

"I don't have any milks left today! What am I going to do?"

"No thank you. I can't have any salad dressing. I've already used all my po*nts today."

"I worked out so long today I earned a whole extra meal!"

"I didn't eat anything today. I'm saving up so I can be really bad tonight"

"I wonder how many cookies I can eat without gaining this week?...think I'll find out!"

Any of this sound familiar?

We fatties like to think of food as something we can earn, spend, save, and even gamble with. I'm no psychologist but that mentality seems a little jacked up.

I'm guessing skinny people with healthy eating habits don't really think about food this way. They just eat it. They eat when they are hungry. For the sole purpose of sustaining life and creating energy. They aren't trying to figure out how they can eat more than necessary. They aren't greedy with food. They don't worry about what and when their next meal will be. They don't get EMOTIONAL about food.

We need to be controlling the food, not the other way around.

Weigh In: .5 lb. Loss


Last week I gained 4 lbs. It was not really a surprise that I gained. The four pounds I found to be a little excessive but whatever. I have been trying to deal with this gain/plateau mentally as it usually takes a while to recover from such a gain. Here are a few things I am keeping in mind:

Eventually the scale goes down. A while back I had several weeks of teeny-tiny losses and even a slight gain one week but finally after about a month of this I had a loss of 5 pounds! I didn't really do anything differently that week. It all evens out.

This is more about my health than anything else. Of course eating healthfully is going to result in weight loss for me but as long as I am eating right I can feel successful even if the scale is stagnant.

I have come a long way. I was uploading some recent pictures today when I came across some pics from a few months ago. The changes in my appearance are so noticeable! That made me feel good.

Breaks will happen. If this is a lifelong journey--there are going to be times I have to pull into the rest stop, so to speak. It only takes a week or two of eating poorly and exercising less to realize that is not how I want my life to be anymore and then it's back on the road again!

No need to look back. Just buckle down and forge ahead because the next goal is always within reach. And it feels SO good to reach the next goal.

I'm curious, what are some things you focus on to get through the plateaus...or gains?

June 22, 2010

Facebook Daily Menu

A lot of you seem interested in what I am eating on a daily basis. Since I need to be keeping better track of this anyway, I have been thinking of ways to address both needs. I decided to start a REAL FAT page on Facebook.

I know I will log my food intake and exercise on a (mostly) daily basis. I will probably also post my weigh ins and rants and raves. I find sites and articles that I like fairly often to so I will share links as well. I may post more pictures on there and there is a spot for "discussions," which I love.

So everyone come over to FB and join the REAL FAT club! Maybe this will even draw some of you lurkers out of the woodwork ;) Please leave a post on the wall letting me know what else you'd like to see and most importantly how you are doing.


June 21, 2010

Workout Update

180 lbs. Still up from 2 weeks ago. Grr...

It's been a while since I have talked about my workout progress. I have done a lot of prompting and persuading, but the question is--what have I actually been doing in this department?

Well, I told you all about my 5K this past weekend. You know, the one where I won a bronze medal. Yeah, that one.

This is my awesome shirt from the 5K. "NO Speed Limit" Awesome...

So, yes I have been running. I have kind of slacked off a bit though. I am not sure why. Maybe because it just turned into hell here in Texas overnight and I don't really feel like bursting into a ball of flames as I trot down the road. And it's hard for me to run long distances on the treadmill. So booooring. Anybody want some cheese to go with my whine?

I know, I know. Get over it.

I have a new found enjoyment of wearing a hat during my workouts.

I guess the only other really good news in the physical activity department is that I joined a new, bigger, better :) gym. I did it for 3 reasons:
  1. I need a place for my kids to go and this one has childcare. My youngest doesn't like it, screams most of the time, but I figure it's only 1 or 2 hours and she will thank me for it in the long run. You know--since I will still be around and not dead from a heart attack.
  2. I need classes. I need the variety and accountability of being in a group setting. There are so many classes I am planning to try including yoga, core and sculpt, Pilates, power spin, Zumba, and the one I am really getting excited about is WATER Zumba. So far I have only been to water aerobics and it was great. I felt so refreshed after that, the whirlpool, and then sauna. It was like a trip to the spa! I slept like a baby that night.
  3. I need the pool and my other gym did not have one. I love to swim and look forward to doing that all fall and winter.

So far, so good at the new gym. I think it is going to be a great investment of time, money and energy.

It was also a really neat experience touring and then joining the place. I felt so confident. The trainer helping me asked if all the machines intimidated me. "Nah," I said. Then he was asking me about my goals and so forth. When I told him I had lost 50 pounds and had 50 to go he looked shocked and asked me what I weighed right now. When I told him I weighed 178 he told me that I carried it well. That was nice to hear from a physical trainer.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting settled into the new gym and my new strength training plan. The core is my main focus right now. All the appendages are looking good so now it's time to attack the mid-section. With a vengeance.


June 20, 2010

Bringing Home the Bronze

Oh, yes. I DID.

This weekend was the 5K I have been planning to run in for several months. It was very hot, in the 90s, and had to be close to 100% humidity where we were. I have never sweat so much in my life as I did while running! There were 3 pretty crazy hills but the one positive is that it was heavily shaded (in a state park with lots of trees).

When the race was over I felt pretty crummy and decided to head back to the cabin. My mom, who also ran, stayed back to get our times. You can imagine my complete shock when she called a few minutes later to tell me I had won a medal for third place in my division! And get this--she won FIRST PLACE in her division! She kicked booty--totally beat me by over a minute.

Here we are--two hot mammas! (literally)

We were pretty proud of ourselves, I'm not gonna lie. But my dad was the real sport this weekend. He watched both of the kids so me and my mom could run in the race. Even brought them to the race to cheer us on. Yea DAD! We were rooting for you!

Here is Glory and her Gee Gee:

And a few other shots from the weekend...
Mom and Jonah

Glory scarfing down some artichoke dip. (Remember what I said about fat people liking really good food? I hope that doesn't pan out--for her sake. Girlfriend knows how to eat!)

Me and my babies' daddy :)

Our family

Now, back to the race for a second. Just for the record (and I'm sure you already figured this out, but just in case) let me clarify that this was NOT a large race. Maybe 100 participants. I got third place in my division but for all I know there could have only been 3 people IN my division. I'm not a running superstar or anything. I even walked some. *gasp*

So while this bronze medal from a little race in rural Oklahoma may not mean much to most people, for the chubby girl who never won anything but a participation ribbon up to this point in life...

I'll take it.

June 17, 2010

Take This Survey

1. Do you have age-related problems (aches) or degenerative diseases?
2. Do you want to prevent or even reverse the effects of osteoporosis?
3. Do you want to burn more calories during the day without doing more exercise?
4. Do you have previously injured muscles or weak muscle groups?
5. Do you want to have more energy and strength to do everyday tasks?

If you answered YES to any or all of these questions, I have good news. There is a simple solution: Strength Training. Strength training is a term that probably scares people. You might be avoiding strength training for fear that you will end up looking something like this:

Not that there is anything wrong with this lovely and might I add, very fit woman. This is an example of body building folks, not strength training. Strength training will not necessarily turn you into a big ball of muscle (unless that is your goal). What it will do is help to change your answers on all of the above questions from YES to NO.

Let's look at each question in detail:

1. Much of the bone and muscle loss that is attributed to age is actually from LACK OF USE. (Ouch! That hurt somebody.)
2. Bones become stronger and denser through strength training thus combating osteoporosis.
3. Muscle is the primary calorie burner. The more lean body tissue you have, the more calories you burn up all day long.
4. Strength training helps rehabilitate and strengthen previously injured or weak muscle groups.
5. Improving your muscles and endurance will be reflected as you go about your daily life. (I can certainly attest to this!)

You can get started with a strength training routine simply by obtaining a pair of small handheld weights or if you are cheap not ready to make that investment yet, a can of green beans will suffice.

I found a very helpful site called Strength Training Woman (just ignore all the ad links) that gives multiple exercises for each major muscle group. It provides instructions and an image for each. I am planning to use this to get a more serious strength training program in place. I have read that you need 20-30 minutes of strength training at least 2 times per week in addition to cardio 3 times per week and balance/flexibility training (stretching/yoga) daily.

So there you go. It's cheap, it's easy and it's something we all need to do--not just people who want to be bodybuilders. Even if you are hurting or old, resist the urge to NOT do anything.

As they say, use it or lose it!

Information for this post taken from the First Place 4 Health Members Guide which can be purchased here.

June 16, 2010

Weigh In : 4 lb. Gain


That's my problem. Anyone who read yesterday's post about getting the new car smell back might have seen this coming. I didn't.

I knew that I had not used my food tracker in an entire week. I missed a lot of my Bible study. I didn't do much exercise other than the 5K. I did eat some chocolate chip cookies. But 4 pounds? Seriously?

Can we just pretend last week didn't happen? Unfortunately, I know the answer to that. Fortunately, I know what I have to do and I have no problem doing it. Back to the grindstone. Back to planning and sweating and resisting and ABIDING.

  • I joined a new gym! I'm headed there now for the first time and will give a report when I get back. Never in my life did I imagine that I would be so excited about working out!
  • Running in another 5K this weekend. Never in my life did I imagine I would be excited to run in a race!
  • I know it's silly but I was kind of excited to see there are over 300 readers of this blog! Never in my life did I think I would be sharing this adventure with that many people! I wouldn't change it for anything.

Okay--off to get my new car smell on!


June 15, 2010

New Car Smell

A few years ago we bought our first new car. I have never been a big car person. I didn't have my own until I was already out of high school. I didn't care what it looked like or what make or model or anything like that. Getting from point A to point B was and still is all that really matters to me. However, owning that new car was pretty special.

We coddled it. Pampered it. Took drives in it just so we could feel the leather on our skin. When it rained we would put down towels on the floorboard to keep the floor clean. We kept a little trash sack in the front to keep it tidy. We made sure the exterior stayed sparkly. The intoxicating fragrance of fresh from the factory goodness was something to celebrate on a daily basis. This was definitely the honeymoon phase.

Pretty soon, the towels got shoved up under the seats. The feel of the leather wasn't as exciting anymore. The trash gradually began to accumulate. The quarters used to wash the car were designated toward other more pressing things. The new car smell yielded itself to banana peels, dirty socks, and fermented apple juice.

When the new car smell of our healthy lifestyle starts to fade, it's time to stop and remember how it was in the beginning. It's time to clean out the unhealthy trash from our pantries. It's time to pull out all the stops to ensure we are successful--put the towels back down, if you will. It's time to look back over old menus, revisit some inspiring blog posts. It's time to make the gym our friend again. It's time to reclaim our new car smell excitement.

We can do it! Remember how awesome it is to have a big weekly loss? Remember how good it feels to finish a killer workout? Remember how the body responds when it is being fed nothing but fresh produce and lean protien? The weekly trips to the store. The money saved from eating out less...I want all that back.

We are nearly half way through 2010. How many of us made a commitment to ourselves back in January? Where are you with that commitment? Now is the time to reassess and act. This year's resolution can amount to more than really good intentions.

Today is the day to decide THIS time is going to be different.

It's not too late. What are you going to do to get that new car smell back?

June 14, 2010

Stuff Fat People Like

#187 Really Good Food

Growing up, I remember dinner being a balanced meal. It had a protein, vegetables, dairy, some oil--you know, everything we need. It's just that the protein would have been "chicken-fried." The potatoes would have been "creamed" with milk and butter then topped with a ladle of pan gravy. The green vegetable of choice, green beans, would have been steeped in bacon grease. All of that would have been washed down with several glasses of real sugar sweetened iced tea.

There is no way in God's green earth that I would change anything about those meals or my upbringing for that matter. Both Mom and Dad are great southern cooks and I consider myself very blessed to have inherited some of their abilities. I tell you about these meals only to explain one contributing factor to my weight problem: I know good food when I see it, I like to make it and most importantly--I LOVE to eat it.

You don't really hear about fat people getting to the point they are at because they can't quit eating edamame or steamed veggies . No one is driving through McDonald's 3 times a day to order a side salad and a diet coke. No. There is a good chance that if you are considerably overweight, you have an appreciation for really good food. (This obviously won't make sense to people who love edamame or vegetables more than anything else.)

I always say that skinny people just don't realize how good food can be! Of course this is a bit far fetched. I am certainly not trying to make excuses for my indulgent eating habits or make fun of healthy eaters. I just think it is something interesting to consider. Do fat people, as a general rule, appreciate really tasty food more than the average skinny guy?

Here are a few other questions:
If you are overweight, do you consider yourself to be a "foodie"?

I know there are psychological ties to obesity. But sometimes do you wonder if it's just because you LOVE food?

Did you grow up eating amazing food like me? If so, did this affect your eating habits in adulthood?

Do you have a really great recipe makeover to share? Please do so. Especially if you figured out how to make chicken fried steak healthy.

June 12, 2010

Because I Can

This weekend I participated in a race that raises money for cancer research and celebrates the lives of men and women who have fought or are now fighting the battle against breast cancer.

I have attended the race several years with my best friend. She is highly involved with the organization. She also has an amazing mom who is a 3 time breast cancer survivor.

The whole thing is almost too much to take in at times. All the emotion...all the people...all the PINK :)...all the bravery. I just can't fathom how courageous these people actually are. Many are facing the fight of their lives and yet they are smiling. They are strong. They are beautiful. For them, giving up is not an option.

As I was preparing for and in the midst of the run I was really thinking about why I was doing it. Many reasons came to mind but the one that really resonated within me was the plain and simple fact -- I can.

For the moment, I am healthy. God has given me bones and muscles and breath. How fascinating it is to think about the condition of my body just 6 months ago. Simply by using it more, little by little each day, I am now capable of far more than I ever thought possible.

Our bodies are magnificent. They were formed by the creator of the universe and he doesn't make junk! The common denominator of both life and death, our bodies are powerful and with PURPOSE. If you have one that is in some kind of working order, then by golly--use that thing! Shake what your mamma gave ya! You never know when you may not be able to...

I just wondered today if there were women who have this disease and might have been wishing that they were healthy enough to be out there doing what I was doing. I was running for them. Because I can.

This post is dedicated to the ever-inspiring woman in the picture above. (One of her daughters created this poster--isn't it awesome!?) She is a warrior in every sense of the word. She was not able to be at the race today due to a family emergency. As I watched her preparing her things to leave last night unexpectedly, I was struck by her calm and nurturing spirit. Even in the midst of life's storms (and believe me, she has had more than her fair share) the joy that overflows from this woman's heart and soul is remarkable and it is contagious. There is no explaination for such an attitude that I will accept other than the amazing grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I know that He is receiving so much glory through her fight. While all those who know her hate that this is happening again, we humbly give God honor and praise for what He is doing in and through her life. We wait, in expectation, for Him to work.

Much love to you, Katie. You can SO do it!


You Can't Have It All

Or can you?

I was supposed to get a haircut and and massage yesterday. I had just enough money to do those two things and pay for my dinner. Well, after my haircut was over, the nearby stores began calling my name. I so badly wanted a massage. And I wanted to be able to walk into a store and buy whatever I wanted. Unfortunately there is this little thing called reality that always spoils my fun.

Clothes ended up beating out the massage in the end. I kind of regretted that decision but at the completion of my shopping day I had made three solid purchases so it was okay and I was content.

Now for the cool part of the story...

Today I ran in my second 5K. I don't really know how these things work yet, so unfortunately I'm not sure of my time. It wasn't too great but I had fun and I am still amazed at the fact I can run 3 miles every single time I do it so that was enough for me to be proud of.

Just as I crossed the finish line and looked up the crowds parted and my serendipitous treat was revealed: FREE CHAIR MASSAGES. So I marched my sweaty little self up to the poor massage therapist and allowed him to make my day. (Sorry, dude.)

I guess sometimes we can have it all:)

June 10, 2010

Mental Health Day

Tomorrow I am taking what people in the education industry like to call a "mental health day". Going for a haircut and that massage I promised myself upon entering the 170's. It's going to be SO relaxing. So great.

I am hoping a haircut will help stop the madness. Recently my hair started falling out. It has always come out quite a bit, but lately I am pulling out huge chunks of hair at any given moment. So much in fact, I have considered making a wig when I finally vacuum my house and then empty the bag.

That actually made me gag. Sorry.

Anyway, last night I was reading about tension headaches. I have had one for about 2 weeks that just won't quit. Until I found out that they are caused by anxiety. Well, no surprise there. I have had a string of strange ailments come over me since around December and each and every one of them has ended up being the product of anxiety. As soon as I find out it is caused by anxiety, I am fine.

I did not know how crazy being crazy is.

So once I found out my tension headache was due to anxiety over another problem I had a couple of weeks ago ( A strained eye. I know. Weirdo.) it dawned on me that maybe I should google "hair loss" and see if anxiety causes that, too. Low and behold--it does.

So basically I am just a big ball of shedding, head-splitting, anxious fun.

I need a good alone day to re-group. To count my blessings and spend some quiet time with my God. He is the only one who wants to hear about my anxiety. In fact He wants me to just toss it to Him. Isn't that the sweetest? Oh, and he likes to spend lots of time with me in the mall, too...no matter how long I try on clothes in one store.

Ahh, tomorrow's gonna be great:)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7


June 9, 2010

God spoke to me during the writing of this post--seriously.

I don't really like confrontation. Even if the confrontation is only perhaps with a figment of my imagination. But there is something that is kind of bugging me these days and I need to put it out there.

I think people treat you different when you are skinny. Or not fat. Or even trying to be not fat.

There, I said it. Am I crazy? Am I paranoid?

I don't think so. I can't decide if I am liking this new found nice treatment or I am offended. I guess it's a little of both. I always wondered if this would happen when I lost weight. I really wanted to believe that my looks wouldn't affect the way I was treated by others, but I feared otherwise. I actually even think a very small, tiny, minute part of me avoided losing the weight because I didn't want to find out.

So it turns out that what I was afraid of happening, being treated differently, is happening.


Thankfully for me, this thing I am doing has shifted from a quest for beauty to a quest for righteousness. So as I think about the new and different response I am getting from the world around me, with beauty being only secondary (or thirdary) to my goal, I am kind of at peace. I don't need the approval of a depraved society to find my self worth and security. Still, it is a little disconcerting to find that people are treating you better after a recent 50 lb. weight loss.

As I sit here typing this somewhat whiny post, a still small voice is tugging at me and my vulnerable heart. Oh wow. This is taking a whole different direction than I intended...I may be going at this from the wrong angle.

Another question to ask: Is it them, or is it me?

Are they smiling at me because physically I look better, or are they smiling at me because I am finally smiling at them?

Are they talking to me because I am prettier now or because I am no longer afraid to take part in a conversation?

Are they loving me more because I am cuter, or because I am more capable of being loved?

There will always be ignorant people in the world, of this I am certain. But I hope I never miss out on the good ones because I am too busy playing the victim. Gotta keep the chips out of my pantry and off of my shoulder...or this is going to be one miserable existence.

Weigh In: 1 lb. Loss

178 lbs

The best part of waking up...is seeing a lower number on the scale...and coffee in my cup.

  • I was digging through old photos trying to find some from my skinnier days so I could have something to compare myself to and look forward to. I was shocked because I kept finding those shots that I always looked at and thought "If only I could look like that again..." and I think I look even better now than I do in some of those pics! I'm about 20 lbs lighter in most of the ones I found but was NOT doing any exercise. I contribute my physical activity now to this body that looks better to me even with 20 extra pounds on it!

Exercise is to weight loss as the white stuff is to an Oreo. Without it, what's the point?


June 8, 2010

You're Killin' Me!

I've had this post on the back burner for a few weeks. It seems to mesh nicely with my previous post, so let the debate continue...

One of the main reasons that I decided to try and resolve my weight issues once and for all was because it was beginning to affect my health. I had high blood pressure, I'm sure high cholesterol, anxiety, more than likely sleep apnea, and I just didn't feel good. I knew that I could not go on living like that and things were only going to get worse.

Something that has really been on my mind lately is how obesity doesn't really get taken as seriously as it should by those who ARE obese and just society in general. I mean, think about it. If you were to get the news today that you have some disease that is guaranteed to kill you eventually, but it is totally preventable by doing X, Y, and Z, are you going to do X,Y, and Z? You bet your pretty little obese booty you are! You are going to do everything in your power to live.

This scenario can be applied to many diseases--cancer (chemo, radiation), diabetes (insulin, etc.), high cholesterol (Liptor, etc.) and so on. The point is, we will do what it takes to control these diseases in our lives.

Take a look at these figures I grabbed off the CDC website:

Annual Number of Deaths for Leading Causes of Death
Heart disease: 631,636
Cancer: 559,888
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 137,119
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 124,583
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 121,599
Diabetes: 72,449
Alzheimer's disease: 72,432
Influenza and Pneumonia: 56,326
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 45,344
Septicemia: 34,234

There are many preventive measures that can be and are taken by folks to keep these things from happening. And when they do happen, we are more than willing to comply with any and all courses of treatment that are suggested.

Now, let's get real about the topic at hand on this blog--FAT. I did a little more digging on the CDC website and found that the estimated annual deaths caused by obesity related issues are 112,000. 112,000!

That falls in the top 5 of the list above. I'm not sure why it isn't on that list. All I can figure out is that Obesity is a more general condition and causes many other conditions (several of the ones listed above) so it just off on it's own.

The point is--Obesity kills people. Lots of them.

The good news is that we don't have to go searching for a cure. The cure has been found!!! Eat less, move more. DO the inner digging to find out why you are the way you are. Get help if you need it. (No medication necessary!) If it will save your life, isn't it worth it? If we can save the lives of our children by teaching them how to eat, isn't it worth it? If we can be examples to others by doing right by our bodies, isn't it worth it?

We can't continue living with hundreds of extra pounds on our bodies and pretending like it's not a big deal. We have to start treating obesity as the killer that it is.

June 6, 2010

Dear President Obama, Why Haven't You Made Me Skinny Yet?

I was watching a show the other night called One Nation, Overweight, on MSNBC. It was very interesting. At one point I my blood pressure began to rise a little bit. I rewound and rewound so I could write down the man's exact words to share with you. Of course I ended up throwing that paper away a few days later by accident. This is the gist of what he said:

If we don't combine personal responsibility with corporate responsibility with governmental responsibility where obesity is concerned, our nation is going to be at risk of losing our stature at an international level.

Hmm. Weeeell...

If by corporate responsibility you mean companies changing the ways they make their products, then I disagree. Chocolate chip cookies are bad for you. If you eat a bunch everyday you are going to be fat. However, chocolate chip cookies taste really good and if you eat one from time to time over the course of 6 months, you can still lose 50 lbs. I did. I don't want Nestle to start making their chocolate chips out of skim milk just so someone can eat a bag of chocolate chips and not feel as bad about it. That type of thing is not going to solve the obesity problem in America, people!!

And if you mean the companies should change the ways they market their products then I totally disagree, AGAIN. Here's an idea mom's who can't tell your kids "NO" to candy at the grocery store: turn off the TV. The companies aren't forcing kids to watch these ads, the parents allow it and let's face it--it is not corporate America's job to raise my kids.

And if by governmental responsibility you mean...well, I think the government has enough to worry about right now. They have given us healthy nutritional guidelines (which is the eating plan I follow), they have required nutritional information to be displayed on the foods that we buy, and they are offering health care for EVERYONE. (Sigh) So thank you government, but that is all.

Now, I try to be an open-minded person. In fact, I think this is the first post I have ever done that might be a bit controversial. So on the flip side, if by corporate responsibility you mean companies offering healthy lifestyle programs for their employees then I say go for it! If by governmental responsibility you mean more health education and perhaps healthier meal options for our public school lunches then I say go for it!

The thing is, I tried to pass the buck for too long where my weight was concerned. If we wait for everyone else to get on board to solve this obesity problem, we're gonna be obese for a long time. Personal responsibility is where it begins and if we each help a couple of other people along our journey, that could take care of our nation's problem with obesity.

Your thoughts? Keep it civil.

June 4, 2010

Why Am I Doing This?

P.S. A heartfelt thank you to Jack for his special brand of motivation and humor. You have kept me going more than once, my friend.