June 29, 2010

Destination: Reality

Okay. Seriously. This little relapse of mine is over. I have fallen and I need up! I thought I would just wait for it to pass, meanwhile eating anything and everything that I wanted and even didn't really want but hey, it was there. Unfortunately, this is not going to pass on it's own. I'm actually going to have get my lazy butt up and do something about it.

This morning's breakfast was the kicker. My eyes were much bigger than my stomach, as always. I am visiting someone at a hospital so I went down to the cafeteria and loaded a plate up with biscuits and gravy, sausage AND bacon, hash browns, and a token (very tiny) bowl of fruit and yogurt.

Halfway through the meal I was sick. This food is not good. This food does not make me feel good. Is it a coincidence that I have felt like crap for the past couple of weeks? The past couple of weeks where I have barely exercised and eaten like food was soon going to be a thing of the past? No. It's no coincidence. This kind of behavior is BAD. On so many levels.

Hello...Reality? Yes, hi. I've missed you dearly. Even though I thought your wicked step-sister, "Keelie's jacked-up, fat mindset" would be a more fun place to live for a while--now I remember it's not. I just purchased a one-way ticket home to you, Reality, and I will be there by lunch.


Deb said...

What a wonderful post...and a reminder of how often we get what we want...but have to pay for it!! So glad you're headed back to REALITY...me, too...and at 55..it's happened many times for me!!!
Thanks for sharing your journey and ALWAYS being so honest!!! Hope your day is blessed!!!

Kate said...

I've stepped away from looking at my eating habits as either "good" or "bad." When I label myself as either of those things, I'm not seeing the larger picture. When I say I'm being "bad" then I shame myself and that's a reason to keep being "bed" because I'm already a horrible person.

I think you know I'm a recovering alcoholic. And one of the best things anyone every told me was "This isn't about being a good person. This is about building lasting character that leads you to being the woman God intended for you to be." good/bad vs. character building? I'll take character today. The kind God wants me to have. Just as I ask God to keep me sober every morning, I ask him to direct what goes in my mouth and ask that it honor Him.

Ana said...

Oh my goodness! I totally went through that this weekend! I ate things that "sounded good" instead of things that were good choices. But it was a very conscious decision and now all I have to do is remember how that plate of cheesy enchiladas made me sick twice! (Leftovers...)

So here is for a better day! All we can do is take it one day at a time and put the past behind us, right?


Vilese said...

Good that you're headed back to reality soon. Last time I slipped it took me a whole year to make it back to reality. Great post, and I love that song by Francesca!

Anonymous said...

Ugh! I hate when that happens!

I feel for you--such an awful place to have been--such a good place that you're on your way to, however. :D

You know what they say--success is getting up one more time than you fall down. This is your time. Have at it!


Jess said...

I hear ya all to well. I have been in the same boat....mindless eating. Why do we do this to ourselves?

LauraLynne said...

I keep waiting for the day that healthy eating and exercise is easy. Reality is that it may never be. I hope that at some point it becomes easier...but meantime, wow, it's a struggle, even after being (relatively) successful for 6 months.
Getting back on track is GOOD - thanks for the post.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

You can do it girl - you've come too far to turn back now!!!

I know how you are feeling. I was shocked to find out how quickly a body can change after eating well. I started the P90X workouts and diet a month ago. I have had a few cheat meals (treats) if you will. Every. single. time I eat one I feel horrible.

We had diner breakfast the other day and I literally felt like I was going to hurl walking around the mall. I was light headed and groggy and couldn't function.

I hope that one day I will want this food less and less - if this feeling keeps up after eating it it won't be hard for me to stay no.

Keep your head up girlie! oxox

Raegun said...

You know what you've got to do!

Kelly said...

Hi there Keelie..
I've been MIA and just got caught up on your blog. Hope you still stop by mine when you can .. I need to post! Will do right after this comment :)

I see you were in a slump, I been there too. Summer time is a little nuts with so much going on and it's getting easier and easier to fall off the wagon. Jump right back on. I love how you say 'purchased a one way ticket home to reality and will be there by lunch!' Amen sister!

We're only human, but we can still do this. Back on track! Keep on keeping on! :)


Sam said...

Good for you girl!! You are a strong woman and you can pull yourself out of this!!!

Vaia said...

You can do it mamasita!!

Tina said...

As Anne of Green Gables says, "Tomorrow is fresh - with no mistakes" Well, lets change it to today and get started. Everyday is new and you get to begin again making good choices.

Yesterday is over - and so is the bingeing... You can do it girl!

Angela said...

it happens to the best of us, girl! i know recently, i started my first ever diet and i kept "forgetting" i was on it! (why is that so easy to do?)but it sounds like you're ready to get back on track and you've got a team of women rooting for you!

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