December 27, 2013

Back to Square One (With Hope)

I wonder if anyone out there feels like I have been feeling...

Here we are. Again. The starting line. Again? Really?


"Oh my gosh. This is so ridiculous. So cliche! The beginning of a new year, a new outlook on life and losing weight. Gag! How many times have you done this, Keelie? No one believes you can do it. You are pitiful. Why are you even doing this again? You never succeed. You never stay the course. You are going to make an idiot of yourself. Don't bother. No one even cares if you are "healthy" or not. It's pointless. You have never been able to stop yourself from quitting. You are weak. You are addicted to food. Food! How gross is that? Why can't you just control yourself? ugh! Disgusting. Even if you do good for a while you'll slip. You'll fall hard. You always do. And then you'll feel sorry for yourself. You'll eat. And eat. And eat. And then you'll get so fat that your clothes will look horrible and won't fit. You'll have to wear the same outfit over and over again when you go in public because it's the only thing that buttons. Oh but that's right, you aren't giving up. You're going to "try again," again. It's cute. It really is. But you are a lost cause. A joke. Give it up. Just do us all a favor and stop.


This is shame. The shame of the enemy.

I have to make a choice right now.The shame of Satan or the God of Hope?

In our failure, in our fatness, in our weakness and in our shame, Jesus came for us. He said "I love you." with his life and death. He takes that very Love and pours it into our hearts. If we confess our weakness of character, the undeniable urge to serve only ourselves and if we believe He loves us anyway then we become children of God. To each of us who is a sinner and believes we need saving, God adopts us as his beloved. He sees a heart made beautiful by the blood of his Son. The shame, in reality, is gone as far as the east is from the west. If Someone can love me in spite of me--and He does-- then there is hope. And Hope will not put us to shame. Never.

So I've decided that I'm not going to be ashamed of starting again and believing that I'll be successful.This is the confidence I have, that He who began a good work in me will finish what He started. That's His plan, and who am I to argue? Not only is beginning again possible, it's necessary. I'm done with shame.

And Satan...well he can just go to hell.



Anonymous said...

This is exactly where I am today also. It is the words that keep me awake at night and cause me to toss and turn. I feel like a lost cause but your words have inspired me today. Thank you.

Can do mom said...

Hey Keelie,
I rarely go on Blogger anymore but I'm doing an empty bookshelf challenge (you empty off a shelf and fill it up with all the books you've read in 2014 - sounds like fun, doesn't it?) and I was looking for my Pinterest log-in. I haven't been on there in a million years. But, I digress.

I'm so glad you're blogging about being back in the game. Don't listen to the lies of Satan. You CAN do this. Never giving up is half the battle. Don't be afraid to start again. And again. And again. And as many times as you need to start to finish the race. The prize did not go to the rabbit but the turtle. Keep plugging along and know that you are loved by your family, by God, by me and so, so many others.


Valerie Chamberlain said...

I love you my sweet friend! Thanks for keeping it real and keeping it in perspective - that with God nothing is impossible!
"Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon." Ps 34:18

Nichole said...

It takes a stronger person to try again than it does to give up. I believe in you.

Adrienne said...

Love it Keelie!!!! I'm right there with you!!! A new year and starting again after losing 80 lbs and gaining almost all of it back w the baby, here I am again!!! Embarrassed! Feel like a hypocrat!!!! Why should I even blog about it? I'm so ridiculous! Thank you for that verse! I may share that :) you can do it and so can I.

steph2088 said...

You're an inspiration. I have the same "shame" conversation with myself every keeps me awake. I vow for a better tomorrow only to wake up and start the cycle again.
I love watching your progess. I wish you well.

Keelie said...

Thanks to all!

Married with Children..... said...

Hey girl! You can do this!! I PROMISE! And YOU WILL!!! :-).