I was feeling really yuck last night so I missed my FP4H meeting. It was the first meeting I have missed in a year, I'm pretty sure. That is amazing to me and I think it is very significant. Anytime something stands out as being different "this time" from all the "other times" I take notice. The reason? Because this time I am succeeding and all the other times I did not. So I can safely assume that my regular attendance at these meetings is playing a role in my success.
This is not a new discovery. I've always heard that regular accountability of some sort is necessary for successful and long term weight loss. I'm sure you have, too. But that statistic isn't really on my mind the day that I need to go to a meeting and I have spend the entire week eating whatever I want. If I know I've gained, I don't want to go face that on the scale and be embarrassed in front of the person weighing me in.
I'm not really focused on the goal, but rather on my failure in that moment. Focus on failure is probably the #1 thing that causes someone to skip their meeting. Right? We'd rather not deal with what's going on and hope for better results next week. Unfortunately, if we don't deal with what's going on this week, things are likely to get worse. String a whole bunch of skipped meetings together and what do you get? A quitter. In my experience anyway...
I was listening to a lady on the radio yesterday and she was talking about the difference in acceptance and resignation. Resignation, in this instance, is knowing there are road blocks up ahead and resolving to turn away or stop. Acceptance is knowing there are road blocks up ahead but resolving to face them head-on and to keep going. We've heard the term "I've accepted the fact that _________" and we've heard the term "I've resigned to the fact that ___________" Two different things. Very different.
These two ways of thinking perfectly fit with my "this time" and my "other times" mentalities. This time, I quit focusing on the failures (road blocks) and started focusing on the goal. It's really that simple. I accepted the fact that I am going to mess up and when I do, I'm still going to my meeting. I accepted that I'm going to weigh in and see someone write a gain down in the little book, more than I'd like. I accepted the fact that I'm going to be around others that lost weight the same week I gained. I accepted the fact that I need the meeting for more than just a place to weigh in. I accepted that I need others to help me. I accepted that I still have a lifetime of learning to do. I accepted that I'm going to do this for however long it takes to get to the goal and then I'm going to do it forever after that.
Resignation or acceptance? Something to think about...
The thing about the accountability group is this: the time you want to avoid it the most is the time you need it the most. Always. It's an opportunity to lean on someone else. It's an opportunity to offer encouragement to someone else who probably needs it more than you or I do. It's an opportunity to stand right in the face of failure and shout, "I'm not afraid of you! Get out of my way!"
Go to your meeting. :-)