Home Again

Tonight I attended a new session of First Place 4 Health. FP4H is a Christ-centered wellness program that basically changed my life. In a nut-shell it is a weekly meeting that incorporates Bible study & memorization, wellness education, encouragement & accountability. Putting Christ in the center of your life and allowing God's word to guide everything else leads to balance: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellness. It is an awesome program that I have missed dearly for the past year. It feels good to be "home" again.

Last fall my husband and I began serving in a ministry that conflicted, schedule-wise, with my FP4H meeting. I was also afraid that I would not be able to manage the responsibilities of the new ministry as well as my commitment to FP4H. So last Fall I stopped attending FP4H. The strange thing was, I knew that I would not be able to maintain my health without FP4H or something very similar. But I also knew that God was calling me out of it for the moment. It was very disorienting and scary, almost like walking into fire.

Actually, that analogy is a pretty accurate one. The past year has been frustrating, humbling, confusing, painful, upsetting...a challenge to say the least. But, God is good. He has forgiven me much, comforted me, taught me, surprised me, uplifted me. He's just carried me along, in the dark, through the fire and I'm still here. Though it has been difficult, this season has served as somewhat of a breather from the whole weight/food/health "thing" and I think I needed that so I could, well...breathe. And see, with fresh eyes. And hear, with fresh ears. So much has been revealed to me about the desires of my heart, what I really believe, what drives me and where I am going.  Simply put, He is bigger and I am smaller.

Now it seems that God is making a way for me once again to focus on my health and return to FP4H meetings since there is no longer a schedule conflict for me. This is so exciting! I've got a new perspective, new goals, and a new vision of progress. I'm excited to begin again, as always, by His grace. At the same time, I'm a bit overwhelmed and if I'm honest-disappointed in myself because of how much ground I lost in the physical wellness department. I do want to acknowledge those feelings, but I will not dwell on them.

I debated and prayed about blogging and how it fits into the picture of my over-all wellness. While I think there are times I probably enjoy the approval and commendation of people (specifically through the use of social media) more than I should,  I still believe writing is a tool and a gift that the Lord has given to help me in this struggle of life. I better use what He's given me because this is a nasty and relentless fight! Sometimes I resent that fact that this is my struggle. It's embarrassing to always have to come back to this place.

But this is where He meets me.

So why waste my time or energy in shame? He is waiting, He is here. So on we go.

I think it will be interesting to see how the past year will influence my efforts toward wellness going forward. I feel that I have changed a lot though I'm not exactly sure how. Ready to get the clutter in my head on paper...or on the screen, as it were.

To my weight-loss blogging friends: hopefully we can just pick up where we left off. I'd love it if you would  leave a link to your blog so I can visit and update my blog roll. Thanks!

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Psalm 40:4