Yes, that is Miley.

And no, I'm not really a fan. Just had to clarify that...I put some music on the blog for your motivational listening pleasure. It's way down at the bottom if you want to mute.

I created a new playlist last week for my half marathon training and it was so refreshing to have new music. I didn't realize how redundant my old play list had become. I highly recommend updating.

I chose to include the song The Climb because I need to be reminded (even if it's from Hannah Montana) that there is always going to be another mountain. No matter how far I get in life the mountains are just going to keep coming.

I think that is basically what I was writing last night, in a whiny, round-about kind of way. It never stops. But that is the essence of life. And to be aware of that, even painfully aware, means that I am truly living.

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Here's to the climb! We're doing it.

Have a great week...

The Burn

They say that during exercise, when it burns is when your body is changing the most. I try to think of that in the midst of my pain and wind sucking and many times I am able to push even harder. Yea me!

But let me tell you about the "burn" that is even harder for me to push through. The burn of temptation.

It's the burn of wanting a piece of fudge so bad I could bite my thumb off. It's the burn of seeing a Taco Bueno and literally feeling the force of gravity pulling my car into the drive thru. It's the burn of wanting to eat the 3 nuggets my kid left on his plate. It's the burn of wanting to eat a piece of enriched flour, chewy white bread (you know the kind that sticks to the roof of your mouth) with a monstrous slather of peanut butter at 11:30 at night.

You want to talk about burn? THAT'S what I call burn.

But it just dawned on me that I could apply the same principle regarding "exercise burn" to "temptation burn." Pushing through the burn of temptation and allowing the the moment to pass by...that is when my MIND changes the most.

When I am able to step outside of myself and see the burn for what it really is--an opportunity for personal growth--then I can push through. By doing this I prove to myself that even though it hurts like heck, I CAN do it.

Each time I do it, it makes the next temptation burn a little less. And a little less. And I suspect that pretty soon I may not even notice the burn.

Just as a trainer encourages the athlete to push through the burn, so shall He encourage me:

1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message)
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

I have yet to resist a food temptation and regret it. TRUST that you will be okay. Next time you are feeling the temptation burn, remember that your mind is being transformed and that is awesome.

I Got New Shoes

And guess what? They are running shoes!

Aren't they purty? I have never spent this much money on a pair of shoes. Honestly, I had no idea that you COULD spend this much money on a pair of tennis shoes. But when I slipped them on, I knew it was meant to be. That these shoes were destined to join me on this journey of a lifetime.

One interesting fact about these shoes is that they are a size 8. Interesting because I don't wear a size 8. I wear a size 8.5 or even a 9 usually. At least I used to. Apparently my shoe size has gone down since I have lost this weight! Note to all you beginners--take your foot measurements too! Wish I had...

What you are looking at here (other than some stubble glistening in the flash-light) are my crossed legs. My extremely crossed legs. I came in from the track and plopped down on the couch. Pretty soon I noticed something weird. My legs were crossed and the top one was kind of bouncing up and down. You hear that!? My top leg was bouncing, or laying flat, or whatever else I wanted it to do.

My top leg used to stick out at right angle and would not move--unless someone bumped into me and dislodged it. I really hated that right angle top leg because everyone could see the bright orange price tags from Ross on the sole of my shoes. Not any more. Now I've got pretzel-y, intertwining legs that fully conceal whatever may or may not be on the sole.

Come to think of it, wonder why Asics doesn't put the price tag on the bottom of THEIR shoes? For once I wouldn't mind people knowing. Hmm.

This picture is a little weird, but I like it. It reminds me of the time (tonight) that I was running and got really hot. I thought it sure would be nice to take off my jacket and tie it around my waist. At first I didn't even try. I've haven't been able to do that for quite some time because the sleeves wouldn't reach around my waist. But then I remembered--I've lost over 30 pounds!

Now my sleeves hang, just like my top leg. Hollaaaa!

Workout Update

Here I am sporting a pair of my cute new shorts. SHORTS! I still can't get over it.

I decided to change up my workouts this week. I alternated 10 min hard cardio with 10 min strength for about 40 minutes. I think it really paid off judging by the scale. If I don't screw it up over the weekend this could prove to be a monumental weigh in. Stay tuned...

In other news, when I saw myself doing the weight machines in the mirror this week, I didn't want to puke. That's major progress!

Oh yes, I have added bike riding to my regimen. I am still trying to get up the hill outside my house. It will happen.

Did I just run 5K?

Why yes, I did. Thanks for asking.

Okay. Let me tell you how this went down. I have been sick for about a week. Been trying not to whine about it, but I have been wiped out. I have been dragging my butt to the gym through all of this, but my heart's not been in it. My heart's been in a tissue and a hot shower.

However, I have a goal that I am working toward this week--trying to get to Onederland folks. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but is it really a goal if your not stretching? I think not. So I decided to go for 2 miles at the gym today to make up for the past week of slacking off. Note: Technically I am not scheduled to be at 2 miles for another 5 weeks or so.

I didn't want the treadmill to cut off after 20 min like it does on the manual setting. When this happens I have to stop running, reset it, I lose my "calories burned" screen, etc. So I decided to choose the 5K mode and just stop after 2 miles.

What happened next is nothing short of a miracle. I set the speed to 4.3 and began. I was watching Bill and Giuliana on The View (who I love) and feeling virtually no pain. After about 1 mile I thought, Could I possibly? Nah... But I kept going. The numbers kept clicking away and I kept going. I kept going until I had burned 400 calories. I kept going for 41 minutes and 30 seconds. I kept going until I had run an entire 5K without stopping.

This is one of the greatest accomplishments for me ever. Seriously. Less because of what my body did but more because of what my mind did.

My memory verse from last week was: "I can do anything though Christ who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:13

Isn't THAT the truth!?

Reader Questions Answered

I am so honored to have recently received awards from some special bloggers! You know how these work; you receive an award and then you spill the beans about yourself. So, here goes-- more than you EVER wanted to know about me...

Thanks to Katie and Kerri from In College, In Shape and also to Kelly from Journey to a New Me for passing on the Beautiful Blogger Award!

For this award I need to share 7 interesting facts about myself. I am going to kill two birds with one stone and answer some reader questions that I don't think I've ever answered.

1. How are you losing weight besides exercise? I am a member of First Place 4 Health. This is a healthy living program that focuses on a concept called the 4 sided person. The 4 sides are physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental. Each week I complete a Bible study that focuses on different aspects of healthy living and how to apply God's Word. I attend a weekly meeting where I weigh in, receive teaching (very similar to a Weight Watchers meeting), and review the Bible study. My eating plan is based on the government food pyramid, and my weight. Currently I am eating 1400-1600 calories per day. Here's a sample week's menu.

2. What type of exercise do you do? I am a member at a small gym where I do cardio and weight training 3-4 days a week. For cardio I mainly stay on the treadmill. I am currently running 1.5 miles and am upping that distance weekly. I alternate working lower muscle groups and upper. I do 2 reps of 15 on each machine with moderate weight. On days I can't go to the gym (when my hunk of a firefighter husband is on duty) I try to do something at home such as Biggest Loser Yoga or Cardio Max. They are both great.

3. How tall are you? I am 5'4"

4. What are some of your favorite go-to meals? The most common meal you will find around here is some type of protein simply cooked in a pan with seasonings and a few Tablespoons of olive oil. Chicken is the most popular, with pork and tilapia a close second. I cook all of them the same way. Tilapia takes about 7-8 min. (4 on each side, med. heat), pork a little bit longer (we buy the thin, boneless chops so I can have 2:) and chicken, if your butterfly a boneless, skinless breast takes just a little bit longer. I usually always have a mixed green salad with a simple homemade vinaigrette, either lemon/Dijon or balsamic. Favorite veggies include broiled asparagus, roasted potatoes, sauteed squash. I am working on a couple of new recipes that I will share (if they are good): Chicken Enchiladas and Asian Lettuce Wraps.

5. Any advice on how to lose the first 10 lbs.? I know this isn't going be very helpful, but for me the first 10 pounds is always the easiest. I guess because I am usually starting out at a large weight, I can almost lose that much in a week--without even trying too hard. But, obviously that isn't the norm. I'd say if you are having trouble with the first 10 pounds, change something. That isn't expert advice or anything, just what I would do. Not change anything major but something that you could easily knock out of your diet or easily add to your exercise regime. For instance, I love salt, but I know it is my enemy. I am waiting until I plateau and then plan to cut the salt significantly to give me a little boost.

6. Where do you live? I live in a small town about an hour north of Dallas, Texas. I grew up in this town, as did my husband. It doesn't have all the amenities of a city, but this is where my heart is. I will never leave.

7. Why are you so brave? (refers to taking pics in bathing suit, of muffin tops, sharing actual weights, etc.) I think the best answer I can give for this question is something an inspirational blogger left as a comment for me the other day:

"The thing is...I'm not ashamed of who I am or who I was because I'm becoming the person I want to be." ♥Kenz♥

Right on, ♥Kenz♥!

---------------------------------
Thanks also to Alexandra from Adventures of a Done Girl Named Alex for the Creative Blogger Award!

Rules for this award are:
1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.
5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them

• My favorite show on television is Sports Center on ESPN.
• I hate to cook, craft, shop and travel.
• I never want to go on a 15 day Mediterranean cruise.
• I do not love rich, fudgy, chocolaty desserts with ice cream on top.
• I am a neat, orderly person who keeps a very structured and methodical home.
• I made it to the final round of American Idol several years ago, in my hey-day.
• Every time I play hide-and-go-seek or go shopping at Marshall's, I immediately need to pee.

-------------------------------

And thanks also to Annette from The Smith Family for this very cool award:

For this award I need to tell where I see myself in 10 years...

In 10 years I will be 40 years old. I will have a teenager and a pre-teen (YIKES!). My husband and I will have been married for nearly 20 years. I hope to be living in the house of my dreams...nothing too extravagant but exactly the way I want it. It is my dream to own a bakery so hopefully I will be living that out in 10 years. (Ironic, isn't it?) I will be serving a loving God and living each day to the fullest. I will be in the best shape of my life and in a size 6.

-----------------------------------------------

Now I am supposed to pass these awards on to my favorite bloggers. I have learned from some other sneaky wise people that if you are ever going to break the rules, these blog awards are a good time to do it. So I am going to award anyone who has ever left me a comment on REAL FAT. And I SERIOUSLY do want to honor you! Your encouragement means WAY more than you probably know and I really don't think I would be doing this without your support. Really don't. So, display your awards proudly and tell me all about you! I really, really want to know. You can pick any or all of the awards.

On a different note: I am happy to report that I feel like all my bloggy friends are starting to get it back in gear, self included. This is a great achievement--getting past the first hump. Moving right along...

Weigh In: 1.5 lb. Loss

Tonight I weighed in at 203.5 for a total loss of 25.5 lbs. YES! I was a bit of a slacker this week as I had a cold and didn't feel like giving it my all at the gym. And then there was the Doritos incident...but next week is a different story. I have big plans for next week.

My internet is not cooperating, or I would show you a picture of how my muffin is morphing! I'm still not ready to wear the size 16 jeans out in public, but if I had to I don't think I would qualify as one of the People of Wal Mart anymore. Now if that ain't a NSV, I don't know what is.

Other NSVs

• rediscovered my legs


• walk/jogged 3 miles in 45 minutes


• met goal of 1.5 miles @ 4.7 pace on treadmill 3 x's


• fat roll on lower abdomen no longer wraps around my body--just sits in front, thus making the front view sillhouette much more tolerable

If you'll excuse me, I need go pack for this week's trip now. Got a one-way ticket to Onederland, baby!

I've Got Legs-- Because I Use Them!

I was passing by a mirror this morning, still in my nightgown, when I happened to notice my legs. I did a double take! I know they have a bit more mass to them than I would like, but I was so excited!



I went and found the only pair of heels I own, put 'em on and proceeded to check myself out for a while. Whoo hoo! I can show my knees again. This will be very helpful come June when it is 2,000 degrees.



On another note, I was reminded yesterday of my pesky food-addict tendencies still lurking dangerously nearby. I wanted to eat all day long. Like seriously stuff my face with anything I could get my hands on kind of eat. The only slip I had was eating about 2 servings of Doritos while feeding my kids lunch. (My husband bought those, not me.)

Instead of polishing off the whole bag, once I stopped long enough to realize what was happening, I decided to go for a 3 mile walk/jog to my parents' house for dinner instead of riding in the car. It worked out nicely and I did the 3 miles in about 45 minutes.

Old habits die hard I suppose, but new ones provide the balance needed for success. Now, let's take one more look at those legs...



Back later for weigh in results! Have a great afternoon.

Workout Update

I am super excited about what exercise is doing for my body. It really is quite helpful. Imagine that...those health nuts were right all along.

I began going to my gym about 2 months ago. I was experiencing some major anxiety/depression. For some strange reason I felt drawn to workout. The only way I could make myself feel better was to do something physical.

Although I did begin a medication for the anxiety (which has helped tremendously) I have to believe that the regular exercise is doing its part as well. There is a bunch of scientific stuff to prove that, but I'll leave it to you to go searching for it.

The important thing is that I feel great! And even though I am still in Twoville, my body is changing and you can see that in these pics:

about a month ago

tonight

By the way, I never wear my shirt tied in a knot like that, just for this blog.

In crunching news: After much deliberation and with the help of all your thoughtful input, I decided to go ahead with crunches but not spend too much time on my abs. I took the advice of someone to really focus on all core muscle groups. However, I am spending the majority of my activity time on cardio at the moment.

Today I ran 1.5 miles (ahead of my schedule) at a 4.7 pace. I think by next week I will be up to 2 miles and that is going to put me at my goal 6 weeks early! I will have to come up with another goal.

It feels so weird to type that. I am not a "goal-setter." Especially when it comes to exercise. We are talking about a girl whose idea of upping her activity level was to scrub a little harder in the shower that day. That was me two months ago. Looking like this:

Fat. Sad. Miserable.

But today...

I know it doesn't have to be like that. Life is not SUPPOSED to be like that. Praise the Lord Almighty for pulling me out of the pit I was in!

Here's to staying out of the pit...

Yoga Mat Bag

For reaching my first goal, I rewarded myself with some work-out themed items including a yoga mat. If you read that post, then you may recall my so-called "work-out buddies." One of them looked a bit like this...



Working on his yoga poses. Angelic, is he not?

NOT! He managed to break the little rubber band thing that held my yoga mat together just a few hours after I purchased it! Not cool little buddy, not COOL.

Anyway, I decided to make a replacement bag. I have seen some really cute yoga mat bags around and they really aren't too expensive, but I had some fabric...



I do know how to sew a straight line, which is all my method would have required, but my machine is buried in a cabinet somewhere. I opted for hot glue and some iron-on adhesive instead.

I simply joined the two long ends of a rectangle together to make a tube--slightly larger than the diameter of the mat. I gathered several strands of heavy-duty yarn together for the strap. (In hindsight, not the best choice but it works.) Then I created a drawstring closure at the top and bottom with some coordinating ribbon.



I think it's pretty darn cute. And I like the bag, too.

Guns n' Stuff

I realized that I hadn't taken any pics of my muscles (or lack thereof) so I tried to capture all the pertinent "befores" this morning.


Calf shot--hopefully my jogging will improve these. I am working toward a goal of 2 miles right now. I am doing it at a pace of 4.5 and incline 1. Not bad for a fluffy girl who hasn't exercised on a regular basis since high school. I also do calf raises anytime I think about it.


Here we have a baby bud of a bicep. I do all of the upper body machines at my gym at least 3 x's a week. I do 2 sets of 15 on each one.


Just abs (aka. gut) here. I have a question concerning the abs. I read somewhere that you should not do a lot of crunches and ab work until you lose most of your belly fat because the muscles will get bigger and push the fat out even more. Is this true? If it is, should I start crunching anyway?


Side view. Hope to have some obliques one day.


Son took this pic. I did not ask him to. But--we DO need a butt shot so here ya go.


Benefits of Exercising (for me)

• major stress-reliever and depression/anxiety buster
• great me-time to gather thoughts and/or watch a good show without interruption
• sleep MUCH better
• wake up refreshed and energized (most days)
• clothes fit better
• sense of accomplishment and empowerment as I push myself to new challenges
• don't run out of breath going to answer phone
• can bend over to tie shoes without suffocating
• getting guns

By the way, I have only been working out for about 4 weeks. You don't have to train for a marathon or workout for a year in order to see or feel results. I noticed a difference after just a week or so. Exercise really is just as important, if not more so, than eating right. Just do it.

Goal No.1 Reached

My reward for reaching Goal #1 of 209lbs!!!

• workout shirt (which I am wearing)
• The Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga
• socks with a pink line so "no one" can steal them
• Yoga mat

As previously stated, I have attempted to lose weight many times in the past and so this is not the first time I have rewarded myself for goals reached. However, the old me would have rewarded herself with food. This is what an old reward list might have looked like:

10 lbs lost--Hot Fudge Sundae!!

20 lbs lost--a week of eating whatever I want!!

great weigh-in--drive through Taco Bueno!!

Hmm. Do we understand the problem with this behavior pattern? Totally fuels the fire we are trying to put out. Thankfully, God has graced me with some clarity in this matter and I realize now that the reward has to be a springboard for more success. This is my current reward list (permanently posted on the sidebar):

209 lbs -- new workout clothes

199 lbs -- new outfit

189 lbs -- haircut, mani & pedi

179 lbs -- massage

169 lbs -- new outfit

159 lbs -- girls weekend

149 lbs -- family portrait

140 lbs -- tropical vacay w/ Hubs

All of these things will make me feel better about myself and encourage me to keep going. Yes, they might be a little costly but becoming healthy will save lots of money in the long run (ie. fewer medications, surgeries, etc.) At least that's what I'm telling the hubs. Quite a bit of truth to it, no?

I will leave you with a glimpse of my yoga "buddies." They make it impossible such a blast to work out in the comfort of my own home!

I really, really did not want to include this one since the gut is taking center stage, but I have to stay true to my "keepin' it real" theme. No guts--no glory, right?! AND I found out my deep lunge isn't so deep...need to work on that. Thank you, disgusting photograph.

And while I am being real, I might as well tell you that I ate several crackers with high-fat cheese last night. And a few Doritos with bean dip. Oh, and some peanut butter crackers. (I waited too long to eat dinner and went bonkers) Back on track today though. Yay me.

Okay--so what rewards are you planning for yourself? I want to know.

Workout Update

On my way to the gym today...

214 lbs. ****************210lbs. ****************

Things are moving along in the gym. On Monday I was the only one in there so I was able to do some of the machines that I wasn't quite sure about. You know the ones--you're afraid you'll look like an idiot when you get on there. Now I feel more confident so I can do them anytime I want.

I also moved up to 1.2 miles this week. It still hurts as bad as it did the first time I ran the mile. Will it start to not hurt? Just wondering. I'll keep going either way. It feels too good when I am done!

Oh--I thought I should throw this pic in since it really highlights my biggest problem area. Ever seen someone with a bigger gut than butt? Pretty weird, I know. Hey--I'm workin' on it! How smart am I? I held the camera in front of my face so no one can ever prove this is really me. Gag!

Side note: One time I had put my pants on backwards by mistake and before I realized it, I thought I had lost weight since there was more room in front/less in back and the pants fit perfectly. *Sigh*

Behavior Analysis Pays Off

I practiced my new behavior pattern in the gym this week. It was the third time I was running my mile without stopping. It hurt SO bad. I began to think 'I'll just stop and walk really fast. It's basically the same. I can run tomorrow.' But then I realized that is what the old behavior pattern was--stop when the going gets tough. So I went against my tendency and pushed through the pain. By the end of the week I had run 3 miles on different occasions, of course. I am going to add 1/10 mile each week and that should put me at my goal of 2 miles in 12 weeks (I'm on week 2). I am pumped about this!

I also practiced the new behavior pattern in the food department. I took my son to a friend's birthday party where I knew there would be pizza. I always follow the rule of "eat before you go so you won't be hungry" but since I don't really mind eating when I'm not hungry, this technique usually doesn't work for me. Well, the inevitable moment came--they brought out 4 ooey gooey pizzas. I began to rationalize, 'it would be rude not to eat the pizza since the hostess had to pay for them. Plus I have done so good all week, surely one piece of pizza won't hurt.' But THEN! Then I remembered that was the old behavior pattern and I had to reverse it. So I didn't eat any pizza! And guess what? I lived.

I will weigh in at my meeting in a couple of hours and will report back with that info. I think I had a good week on the scale, but more importantly my mind is being transformed. Each time I practice this new pattern of pressing on, the easier it will be to leave the old pattern behind. One day, the "new way" will be my normal way. I can DO this. Praise the Lord--HE can surely do this!

LOVE this from Titus 2:
11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.

Workout in Style

I've been surfing the web a little bit in search of other weight loss blogs. Yesterday I ran across this one that really blew my socks off. I stayed there forever just reading about her weight watcher adventures and looking at her stunning photos. You can click on one of the photos below to go to this unbelieveable blog.

Okay. So she takes pictures like these all the time and I think she looks so cute! She also has tremendous success according to the blog, so I decided...

Well, see for yourself.

Yeah. It's just not working for me yet. But hopefully you feel better about the way you look in workout gear now. Ha!