October 4, 2010

Perseverance



When I first began trying to lose weight, I knew that for this time to be different I was going to have to act differently. I have heard the definition of insanity explained as doing the same thing but expecting different results. Quite simply, I was tired of insanity.

So I tried to pin point the one thing that all of my previous failed attempts at weight loss had in common--the goal being to avoid whatever that might be, this time. After much contemplation I arrived at this very simple truth: I am a quitter.

Ouch. That hurt. Because I really wanted the reason I couldn't lose weight to be the fault of someone or something else. I would have liked it to be due to genetics, or a chemical imbalance. I would have liked to place the blame and responsibility anywhere else besides right where it landed--in my lap.

I won't even take credit for the ability I was given to face and accept this truth. I know that God was all over it. But facing the truth--that I was a quitter--was the turning point. The neat thing is, once you are honest with yourself and God about something of this magnitude, then He has something to work with. He helped me realize that if I would just keep going, no matter what, then we could really do this.

Today I consider myself a woman of perseverance. Although I started this blog in January, I began my weight loss journey in October of last year. I think 12 months of consistently moving in the right direction earns me the right to say: "I have persevered!" When the scale isn't moving, I still am. When stress comes along, food remains "just food." When running begins to seem difficult, I keep running.

God has revealed to me what this really means:

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

For the first time in my life, I get that. When the pain or difficult situation comes, I feel a strange sense of excitement. Understand, I'm not necessarily throwing a party to celebrate or laughing about it. I still get upset and sad and mad. But in these moments I am allowing my fears, my pain, my anger and any other emotion I feel to be tempered by the anticipation of seeing and knowing what God is working out in me. I don't want to pass up anything that He wants to give me.

Looking back over my last 30 years, I can't tell you how many times I literally CRIED out to God to make me thin. He never did. I might have gotten bitter about it. Might have ;) But let me tell you, from where I stand now, there is no way that I would ever trade 30 years of worldly beauty for this one year of His glorious revelation in my life. I kept asking for God to make me skinny, but the plans He had for me were so far deeper and more precious that my wimpy request. Only my God can take a quitter and make make her a woman of perseverance.

I could tell you about all the in between stuff. The little things I have done and haven't done, the foods I have eaten and haven't eaten, and so on... But we really know those aren't the things that matter. Not really.

What matters is that you keep going. That may not be what you want to hear ( I know I never did!) because "keeping on going" isn't easy and we want stuff to be easy. I am truly sorry. This isn't easy. But I would stake my life on the claim that it is worth it.
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20 comments:

Molly said...

Thank you. You are so right.

LauraLynne said...

Love it. Really.

April but some call me Prilyy said...

You are inspiring me to get off my ass and just do it. i myself am a quitter too. i get that. sometimes it takes someone else having the same issues to say to yourself " i can do this, im NOT going to quit". i have a full cabinet of Nutrisystem food that i have been hiding so i dont have to look at it. i guess im trying to figure out where to begin.

Weightless said...

Tomorrow marks my one year commitment to being healthy too. Everything you said, not only rings loud and clear but true for me too.

Keelie said...

April--best I can say is don't think about it, just do it. One day at a time keep moving in the right direction. the length of your stride doesn't matter, just that you keep going!! You can do it, if I can, you can!

Deb said...

HOPE you know what a beautiful person you are...inside and out!!! You give HOPE and inspiration to an old woman!! ;)

Lesley @ racingitoff.com said...

Excellent post!

Kendra said...

Thank you. So well said.

Denita said...

Keelie - I loved this post! I made something for my weigh loss/running blog with the word "Persevere" and I would love to send it to you (via email) as well. I searched your blog but didn't see a way to contact you other than to leave a comment. If you would, please post your email and I will send it to you. This post really hit home. Blessings!

Michelle said...

Loved loved loved this post. Might actually be my favorite post read since I joined the blogging world. And I've read a lot!!

Oh, and I'm hooked on Hold Us Together, I finally had to get it from iTunes. :)

Melissa said...

awesome awesome post! thanks for the reminder! when i started this journey, i also learned that the only way to succeed this time to NEVER GIVE UP. In every time i've tried to lose weight, i ate the right things & exercised the right amount of time but the weight didn't come off. WHY? B/c i QUIT!!! SO i decided this time i would NEVER quit.

Sadly, i started June 2009 & have only lost 22.8 pounds. Sometimes i get down about that b/c i could've lost 100 in that time! However, i never quit - i kept on going & i kept making one more good decision... i know i will get there. Hopefully in the next year i will do a lot better. :)

SherRon, Shoes To Lose said...

Your strength is amazing. Thank you for always keeping me inspired.

By the way, I made the chicken tacos you posted about last week and OH My Goodness! They were amazing. So moist and well seasoned. This will definitely be added to the regulars list.

Karla said...

I don't want to be a quitter,

wow!!!

just wow!!

Maria said...

Amen! So proud of you - let's keep on keeping on. And PUSH through it all (Persevere until Skinny Happens) ha ha. I know that's not the right acronym, but I thought we could tweak it just for our journeys. =)

Thanks for being real. Just love ya, ~Maria

MizFit said...

I live this and always need the reminder.
some days in fitness and TODAY in BEYOND :)

Kara said...

You hit the nail on the head. Thank you for the reminder that I, too, am a quitter. I want to print out your words and put them some place where I can read often.

cmoursler said...

amen.

Kimberlynn said...

I just found your blog through a fellow blogger who mentioned this post. I need to thank her. You are an awesome woman of God. I'm enjoying the same blessings as God is working in me. Blessings!

K. said...

Love this post! Might just be my favourite of yours so far. Only by the grace of God, I do hear that...Consistently making these efforts towards taking care of yourself is nothing short of a miracle. Stay blessed,
K.
www.it-is-time.com

Paula said...

"Only my God can take a quitter and make make her a woman of perseverance."...awesome!! Praise be to God!!! You look fantastic...inside and out!