I have been praying and praying and praying some more that I will get a real grasp on what God's grace means for me in this crazy, can't-figure-it-out life. It is a jumbled mess in my head most of the time but when I am deep in the Word or as quiet as I can possibly be or sometimes even scrolling through my twitter feed--He speaks. I am trying so desperately to listen and to take hold of what I am hearing.
My dear friend pointed out to me that I am trying really hard to understand everything. It is common for a person to experience tragedy and want desperately to make sense of it all. I'm not even in the midst of a tragedy, but I still want to understand it all. The joys, the gifts, the opportunities...I want to know what is going on and why things are happening the way they are. I can't. We can't. We just can't.
The truth is that all of these things God is working together for good. Of that we can be certain. And the fact that he is making anything good out of us or this world is GRACE defined. The waters of God's grace are deep and as the David Crowder songs says: "If your Grace is an ocean, we're all sinking."
I love this lyric because it captures the hard truth so very well. We can't navigate God's grace. We can only drown in it. We can only let the lungs of our desire to understand be filled with the water of His grace. The living water. In this death we can truly live! We can just rest and let the waters carry us, toss us to and fro, and experience life the way He intends. Every emotion, every delight, every fear, every pain and every uncertainty: through grace we can experience it rather than fight it, study it, or resent it. Instead of trying to make use of the grace or figure it out, we can just let it have us.
1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
I've not been on this earth too long, but with every passing moment I realize more and more (Thank you, Jesus!) that this is not my home. What a tragedy if I thought this was it! The same grace that drowns me here will complete me there. The ocean of grace that I'm drowning in today will carry me right to the feet of Jesus and in the presence of God Almighty. One day I will know. Fully and forever.