I was kind of embarrassed at first. How can a person go a whole year doing the types of "weight-loss-y" things that I do and not lose anything? How? Then I felt dumb. Why did I assume I had lost lots of weight? Then I felt mad that all of those months had been wasted. I could have been to goal by now. Then I felt frustrated and defeated and blah. Waaaaaah!
When I was done with all of this, I decided to do 3 things:
1) Shut Up
2) Suck it up
3) Get to Work
Here are my no-frills, once-a-month, weigh in photos for September.
In my heart of hearts I know that all was not lost over the past year. Truly, I do. Quite the contrary. I know that God has been working on different areas of my life. I guess it's just a little uncomfortable because they aren't really areas I wanted him working on ;)
A statement that I read this week pretty much sums up my current state-of-mind:
I'm not what I wanna be; I'm not what I'm gonna be...But praise God Almighty, I'm not what I was.
This is the physical comparison of where I was in October 2009 (229 lbs.) and where I am almost in October 2011 (169 lbs.).
Interesting to me that you can capture the physical comparison so well with photos but the spiritual/emotional/mental changes can not be photographed. They can not be seen, only experienced. There is not a sidebar big enough in this bloggy world to document the make-over that my heart is undergoing. So thankful.