I'm a Mess; I Confess

The past few weeks have been what I'll call "ideal zone" in the realm of my healthy living adventure. You know what I'm talking about. I've had an unusually strong drive to exercise. Making healthy food choices has been relatively easy. Everything is just flowing.

But today. ((shakes head))

Well, today we left the ideal zone. Do you know what I wanted?

I wanted this:



Which I would have enjoyed making just as much as I would have enjoyed consuming. But I was a lazy bum. So I got out a mug and made one of my notorious chocolate microwave concoctions instead.

It had all the main players: sugar, flour, egg, butter, vanilla, cocoa...just on a smaller level. I took the thing to bed and ate it while I laid there. In the middle of the day. I laid there in the same thing I slept in (sorry flylady) and ate probably 500 calories that have absolutely no where to lay their sticky little heads on my LiveIt tracker. It didn't even taste very good. But I ate it. Every single bit of it. Am I sick or what!? Yes, I am sick. That is exactly what I am. (For the record--I've never contested that fact.)

So as I sat here today, feeling sick and bloated from all the sugar and lack of movement, I decided to do [what I think] I do best. I analyzed the situation. I asked the questions: Why am I doing this? (Specifically: laying around and eating crap.) What has changed that has moved me from the "ideal zone" into the "danger zone."

1. I have been gone from home for a couple of days and the house is out of control. It is not to the point of no return (when this happens it is not a pretty thing).

2. It is very cold outside and not conducive to my favorite way to exercise: outdoor running.

3. We were (until about 2 hours ago) completely out of quality groceries.

4. Two nights ago I stayed up until 2 in the morning and made up for it my sleeping through my quiet time this morning.

That's pretty much all I could come up with, but this is very useful information to bring to light. 3 out of the 4 insights I have control over and even the one I don't have complete control over is not a deal breaker:

1. I can spend about 15-20 (2 hours) minutes in each room of the house tonight instead of watching the movie I had planned. I will have a controlled household by morning.

2. I can not run outside but I can do a 20 minute workout right after I clean and right before I reward myself with a hot bath an book.

3. Thankfully we planned out our dinner meals for the rest of the week and hubby went to the store for me today (while I napped and read...like I said, lazy day). No more excuses!

4. If I start cleaning at 6 o'clock I should be able to do finish that, my workout, my bath and do a little more reading before a lovely lights out at 9:30 pm.

There. Nothing blocking my path back to the ideal zone.

This I know is true --I am going to continue to make mistakes for the rest of my life. In the past, a day like I have had today a might have set me back a few weeks or even months. That is not reasonable. That is not logical in any way, shape or form.

Here's a little secret for those who give "falling off the wagon" way too much power: You can have a bad day and still have a good week! I've done it before! Don't think that all is lost if you lose it for a minute and make yourself a 5-serving bowl of chocolate cake for lunch in bed. Just snap out of it as quickly as possible and do what you have to do to recover. It's pretty simple.

Sheesh. Glad that is over. I hate these confessional posts! For a second I feel like a hypocrite with no credibility. But then I realize that these posts are precisely what keep me from being a hypocrite with no credibility. (I am a hypocrite, we all are on some level, but you know what I mean).

Okay--gotta clean. Let me know what you are doing to make your immediate environment an "ideal zone" for wellness.