January 6, 2011

Weigh In: Maintenance

172.5 lb Always remember: you are not immune to the muffin top.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

Okay, I give in. I will discontinue my rebellion against the REAL FAT institution of weekly weigh-ins. Oh. Wait. I didn't come up with that, did I? No, I didn't. Weekly weigh-ins are part of nearly every single weight loss program known to man. It is a method used to keep track of progress and hold one accountable. Duh.

I will never forget the first time I posted my weight on this blog. Holy cow! It was hard. But it was something that I knew I had to do. For years, in my own pride, I had kept that little tidbit of information (actually a rather large tidbit, as it were) to myself. There was no way I could admit to the world and especially those closest to me just what a mockery I had made out of God's creation. Not to mention I didn't want them to realize how fat I really was.

Gently, as it often works, the Spirit of the Lord began to speak to me about pride in the area of my weight. This is obviously a stronghold in my life and by keeping it a secret I was giving it far too much control. I was allowing it to hold me captive. The Spirit also reminded me that everyone in the world struggles with embarrassing and debilitating sin, many with the same one I do, whether they are willing to admit it or not. By owning up to the depth of my sin--and for some reason the number on the scale represented this in a very tangible way--I could release it. I could say, "See this number? This is what my addiction (my sin) has done to me. I refuse to be a prisoner to it any longer!" Suddenly freedom became more important than my pride.

So I did it. It wasn't embarrassing. You see, after that number "went public" I began to realize that in reality, it had never been a secret to others that I was overweight. You know those pictures we see of ourselves and think Ahhh! I need to burn that. I don't want anyone to see me like that! Yeah, you know what I'm talking about... Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but unless you are a hermit, what you look like in those pictures is exactly what you look like in person. People see you, my friend.

But more importantly God sees you. And he sees your pain. He doesn't see the number on the scale but he does see the prison that sin creates in our lives. He is ready and waiting to fling open the prison doors! In John, chapter 8 we are told that the TRUTH will set us free. And if you don't like the Bible I think there is even an old saying: "Honesty is the best policy." It's true. We just have to be able to face the truth of what we are on the inside, confess it (blog it?) and then--and ONLY then--sweet deliverance.

I'm just curious if anyone else has had this same experience of truth=liberation. If so, leave a comment and tell us about it. And if you are afraid of being honest, what exactly is it that holds you back?


Kate said...

Admitting it is the first step. Always. You're spot on.

Jennifer said...

It was freeing to face my number on the scale publically but it has been so hard to face my slip ups. I have been honest about it but I so want to hide under a rock. I had lost 52 pounds but ended the year at only a 35 pound weight loss.

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

It was terrifying for me to post my weight and actual picture on my blog last Feb. That was the first time I ever mentioned my weight... not even my husband got to know my weight. I felt like I risked everything by going public. But I also was determined to FACE IT and if I had it out there like that (so embarrassing) that would give me that dertmination to get rid of it and never go back.

It's one thing to post a fat pic when you're still fat, or to wait until you've lost the weight and then post it. But I wanted to show myself that I "believed it was possible" (hence the name of my blog) so I posted my gross picture before I lost anything. I'm still embarrassed by my old pics. I feel shameful for how big I let myself get. Yet, I also feel very determined to NOT go back there.

So yes, I believe in weekly weigh-ins and whatever it take to keep me accountable. And I do believe that being truthful and accepting what you need to do is liberating! Thanks for sharing your story and your strength and encouragment. I love your blog.


teri-free2bme said...

My name is Teri, and I'm a food addict.

Since childhood I struggled with eating disorders. The past couple of years struggling with excessive, unhealthy emotional eating. Admitting this truth (of my food abuse) is the beginning of true freedom in this area of my life. My sister, Traci, and I have both started weight loss blogs (idea that came directly from your blog and success). Thank you, Lord... Thank you, Keelie. Traci lives in WA state, I'm in TX. Long distance-through blogging and regular phone calls, we plan to support and encourage one another on our journeys of a healthier lifestyle this year.

I personalize and claim Galatians 5:1 over this year... It is for freedom that Christ has set me free. I will stand firm, then, and will not let myself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery;
I am free2bme~ the healthy person you made me to be. Thank You, Jesus!

God Bless you, Keelie for this blog ministry, for humbly sharing your past year with us, and being such an inspiration to many. I can't wait to see all the Lord has in store for 2011!!!


Taylor said...

I tell my mother and my husband - after every picture they see of themselves that they say they look fat - Sorry, but that is just what you look like. You are so right!

Emily said...

The biggest example of this for me was admitting (on my blog) that I pull out my own hair. It's a coping thing, it has a medical name, it's weird and disfiguring, but it's soothing. I've made progress this year, and letting someone cut my hair (and see my scalp) for the first time in years last spring was the starting point. Telling my hair dresser why I had bald spots meant I had to admit to myself how unhappy I was. You can read more about it in the "hair" category on my blog.

I appreciate your honesty on your blog. Just look at the improvement in the numbers you were so scared to share a year ago...now we get to celebrate your progress with you! YAHOO!



LeFebvre Momma said...

i TOTALLY remember hitting that point where I realized that not seeing a number did not mean that people didn't know I was fat. Of course they did. So admitting it just meant that now I knew it too! So liberating. Praise the Lord

Brandy said...

Something that has just touched my life recently. I am fearful, anxious, and stupid for trying to do everything on my own. I just realized God is knocking at my door calling, "Hey, remember me? You used to let me do some of the work. I AM supposed to do the work. Throw your cares on me, my burden is lighter." I am working through that now. I fill like the florescent light blub has just turned on but is still warming up. My weight is a product of my efforts at lifting everything on these two tiny shoulders. I'm tired and don't have to be! Thank GOD! I'm working at giving it to him and how to leave it with him. :)

Gina said...

Psalm 97:11 - "Light shines on those who do right; joy belongs to those who are honest."

I read this the other day, wrote it down, and thought to pass it as it fit what you wrote about today!

Gina said...

I discovered your blog last week, and I love it!!!! You are such an inspiration and being a christian is just the icing on the cake. Everytime I read your blog I am saying yes, and oh that's me. I am starting my weight loss journey again and want to be successful this time. Thank you for such a wonderful and honest blog!

gbloom studio said...

I left you a comment above and was not signed into my account...
Gina : )

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

It took a long time to be honest - heck I had the "lie" weight on my drivers license for years... I am currently a little heavier than what it says but working on making it less. I'd rather have people look at the license and see a heavier girl with a skinny girl standing there than the opposite. Maybe one day I'll get questioned about my ID whether it's real ;)

Admitting my weight was difficult but liberating to share it with the public because more people stepped forward and supported me in my journey.

Anonymous said...

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