Fat Me: You should have a snack right now. Everyone's asleep. It's okay.
[Not Fat] Me: Don't listen to that jerk.
Fat Me: No, I mean--seriously. You have done really well today. A spoonful of peanut butter will be fine. Or two, even.
[Not Fat] Me: Do NOT listen to that voice! You know it lies.
Fat Me: Maybe I do sometimes, but hey--what about the scale? You weighed just a minute ago and it wasn't very good. About the same as yesterday. I think you should eat something. It's not like you lost any weight today!
[Not Fat] Me: That is the most irrational hog -wash I have ever heard. Shut up, fatty!
Fat Me: Do NOT call me fatty. That is rude. I am just trying to be helpful and justify your desire for a snack.
[Not Fat] Me: Oh well, excuse me. Please be quiet you IDIOT.
Fat Me: Anywaaaaaays... As I was saying... Just go ahead and have something. Remember when we used to lay in bed and eat crap? Yeah, man. Those were the days. It will be so relaxing. You can watch *ah-hem* The Biggest Loser...while you enjoy some of those Wheat Thins that were brought into the house today. Oooooh, oooh! Noooooo! I know--eat the Funyuns. Yeah. You haven't had any of those in a while.
[Not Fat] Me: Hey! Remember when we used to weigh 230 pounds and couldn't even sleep on our side because the fat around our neck and chest would suffocate us?! Yeah--those were the days. Not.
Fat Me: Wow. Someone is being dramatic. Geeez.
[Not Fat] Me: Nope. No drama here. That was reality. Out of breath tying shoes, knees hurting for no reason, clothes looking bad on us, our true smile buried under layers of fat and despair. NO drama. Just the bitter truth.
Fat me: Well, that was 60 pounds ago. You can mess up every now and then. This is a marathon, not a sprint. You can take your time losing the weight. Right? That's what you always say. A few chips won't matter in the long run.
[Not Fat] Me: Stop. Be aware of what is happening right now. You are this close to being decieved by yourself. Remember how you feel in the morning after you do this? Remember how mad you are right after you finish the snack? It's not worth it. Are you really hungry? Have a glass of---
Fat Me (sticking fingers in ears): Lalalalalalalalala. I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Lalalalalalalala.......
[Not Fat]: Oh , good lord.
Fat Me: Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.......
[Not Fat] Me: Turn on your rain noise maker and GO TO SLEEP, you fool.
The battle rages on...But the victory is WON.