February 3, 2010

Ugly/Beautiful Truth

So--Melissa from the Biggest Loser. We all pretty much can't stand her. She's a liar, according to Bob and Jillian. She's a tad obnoxious. She cries an awful lot.

But.

But last night I had a revelation. I AM Melissa. We all are a little bit. Haven't we all lied when it comes to our bodies and this weight loss thing? At some point haven't we allowed the truth to bend? I say yes, we have.

I have had a perfect week on paper and acted surprised when the scale didn't reflect it, even though I knew the paper wasn't reality. I lied.

I have looked at my face and only my face in the mirror for so long, that I began to forget the rest of me existed. As long as the face is presentable, I'm okay. Right? No. I lied.

I have avoided social situations that are uncomfortable many times because I am self conscious. I would say that I didn't feel like it or that wasn't really my cup of tea. I lied.

I have gone to the gym and given about 10% of the effort I could to the workout and about 90% to the TV there...only to return home without ever being able to regain those minutes I took from my kids, my husband, myself. I lied.

I have driven through a fast food restaurant on my way home from work and then proceeded to sit down to a full course dinner with my family. And get seconds. I lied.

I have tried to convince myself that it's what's on the inside that counts, even though I never thought twice about what I put INSIDE mouth. I have chosen to believe that I could simply disregard exercise and the conditioning of my body because "I am not that vain."

I chose to believe a lie. Though subtle, these are LIES.

When Bob looked at Melissa last night and told her that she had gained his respect back, I felt like he could have been talking to me. Because I'm not lying to myself anymore. Huge. I have come face to face with the ugly truth of what I am, but in doing so I am now also face to face with the beautiful truth of what I can become.

So I submit to myself, Melissa, and fat girls everywhere--

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

8 comments:

Abby said...

I just found your blog, what a great post!

I lost a lot of weight 13 years ago and as a christian, what finally motivated me was realizing how important it is to take care of the body that God gave me. I've been struggling recently with stress eating, and I know that anything I turn to besides God is not good, so I'm trying to work on that.

One of the verses that helps me Is Hebrews 12:11. Scripture was very helpful and still is for me when trying to make healthy decisions regarding food and exercise.

Anyway, I look forward to following your journey!

Continuous Changes said...

I am so inspired by your honesty! It is true, I have lied during my journey!

Lisa "One Mom's Weight Loss" said...

Thank you so much for this post!! Tell it like it is girl...we need to hear it!!

Gina Stinson said...

Oh...agreed! I've played the game...or quit the game for years. Honestly seeing myself is what brings me back to trying again.

Kristina said...

Okay, all are TRUTH. I have LIED as well according to all of those examples......but, I STILL dont like Melissa! lol

Red Writing said...

Thanks for the scripture ref., Abby. Glad to have you along.

Kristina--fair enough. lol.

Thena said...

Somehow I justify it as it's the weekend, it's just this once. I do good for a couple of days. Losing weight is hard, just like any other addiction. I like Kristina's comment. I lie to myself and others also, but I still don't like Melissa. lol She just doesn't seem to get it.

Shelby said...

I really REALLY hate Melissa and you just identified for me why... I'm not sure whether to thank you or not -- sometime the inner mirror is more hideous to look at than the outer one is, ya know? But look in it I will and fix what needs fixing and move on...