Today I was thinking about how different my "falling off" looks now than it used to! Wow. Big difference. And that realization is thanks in part to some of you who left really supportive and encouraging comments to remind me, for which I am also truly grateful. Thank you! As I've said before, we can never forget where we've come from.
In my analysis of why the "falling off" looks so much different now (1 serving of ice cream when I am not hungry verses a whole gallon, for example) the word MOMENTUM came to mind. The thought of this word made me remember a post that I wrote a long time ago with the same title. I found it archived all the way back in February of 2010, right after I started.
I just read it. Can I tell you how much this made me want to cry and praise the Lord for the miracle he has done in my life!? Praise HIM, praise HIM, praise HIM!
Please, read this:
Momentum
(REAL FAT, February, 2010)
I always start a diet (Yes, a diet. Let's just call it what it is! Until I reach a goal weight, I am on a diet. I would like for it to be a lifestyle change and hopefully it will be. But for right now, its just a diet. I feel like "diet " is a dirty word these days. Well, not in my book. Diet, diet, diet) Okay, sorry. As I was saying...
I always start a diet with gusto, but look up 6 months down the road to find the momentum has taken a turn in the wrong direction. I have gained several...tens of pounds and am left thinking that if I had only kept the momentum going in the right direction I would be down that many pounds. It is frustrating.
Such a slippery slope, falling off the wagon. You have been doing amazingly well for a month or so. You pass up candy at the office, drive past the Taco Bell that is calling your name, order the grilled chicken instead of the chicken fried steak at your favorite restaurant. You're doing SO good!
But then it slowly begins to happen. About 9 o'clock one evening you are craving something sweet. Chocolate, I imagine. You try to distract yourself from the cookie dough sitting in the refrigerator. You go to sleep. 10:30 you sit up in bed. You think to yourself, If it's in the middle of the night and I eat it, there's no line to write the points down. It must not count. (Yes, this is the distorted and seriously SICK logic a food addict might use. We're crazy.) You get up and eat some dough. And then some more dough. Before you know it, you are throwing the package away and feeling really bad about the decision you just made.
You wake up the next day and start out in good spirits. You have every intention of getting "right back on track." But as you are heading to work you realize you have a few extra minutes. McDonald's is on the way. Hmm, you already messed up the night before. It's going to be a bad week anyway. Might as well drive through for breakfast.
Lunch rolls around. The stuff you packed doesn't sound good. Your buds are going to drive through somewhere. Heck, its Friday!
And then--the weekend. Well, let's just say it ain't pretty. You get discouraged. You spend a few weeks following this pattern and before you know it the hard work that you had put in during the early weeks, it's all down the tubes. You failed. Miserably.
But.
But, what if momentum were to go the other way? What if the good choices began to build on one another and the more that were made, the easier it became to make them. Eventually perhaps McDonald's didn't even catch your eye. Maybe you would actually rather have the grilled food instead of the fried. And maybe, you could teach yourself to stay on track even after you mess up.
Momentum.
I want to be so far in, that there's no turning back. Wonder what that will be like? Feel like? Look like?
I'm about to find out.
You know what I love about this post? When I typed that last line, I believed it...and the rest is history.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
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5 comments:
Love this post! "I'm about to find out"...I remember that moment for myself, too, and what a time that was! I can relate, I had a fallback a few weeks ago and totally indulged. My indulgence was completely different than what it once was, though and for that I'm so grateful! Great post, as usual.
You posted this at just the right time - A post like yours is just something I really needed to read. There is hope at the end of the tunnel - it doesn't always have to be losing 10lbs, gaining 12, losing 10 again and around and around! I have been like that for a while, but your post has just struck something inside of me! There is HOPE and it can be done =)
You go girl!!
I remember reading that post from 2010 when you wrote it.
Dare I say (everything, including) this round of falling off had a purpose. A very distinct, edifying purpose.
Keelie, you're a weight-loss transformation in REAL time.
Love your faith!
This post could not have come at a better time. I have re-started my journey so many times because when I fall of the wagon I feel like a total failure. Instead of getting back on right away I tend to waller in self pity and it just turns into an ugly cycle. It is refreshing to see that people, like you, have down falls but still succeed in the end.
I'm at the point you were in Feb '10 right now, and it's helpful to see how far you've come and that you didn't have to always be perfect to get there.
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