February 14, 2012

"Not Hungry" is a real thing & Tracker 45

Something huge happened today. It was late afternoon and around the time I normally eat dinner. I started getting things out to make a large salad for myself. As I was looking down into the bowl I was thinking This does not sound good at all. Yuck. I don't want salad. At that point I determined to be very conscious of my thinking and impulses. I was trying to separate myself from myself if that makes any sense. At first I became anxious. The thought of eating and not thoroughly enjoying it just seems like something ridiculous. So I was trying to think of something that did sound really good. Of course I had to eat--it was "time." Cue: refrigerator door open. Shut. Pantry door open. Shut. What do I want? Not in there. (Funny because I have a magnet on my fridge that says "It's not in there.") I then think of all the Valentine candy we now have. Pulled out my son's Valentine box from school and rummaged through it. Yes, I seriously did that.  I found one little off-brand chocolate heart in his box that probably had rice crispies in it. I was about to eat it and I don't even like those. I decided against it. Mind you, my poor salad is still sitting patiently on the island through all of this. So I walked back over to the salad and looked down at it. It was a beautiful salad but I was still JUST. not. interested. Right at that moment I remembered a line I read in a book the other day that said, "If you won't eat an apple then you probably aren't hungry." And like a flash of lightening it hit me! You aren't hungry, goober. So I covered the salad with foil and returned to it, very happily, about an hour later. The fact that I did recognize "non hunger" and even more that I did not go ahead and eat anyway--these things are revolutionary. I hope to be able to report more experiences like these soon and frequently.



Tammy said...

Thats an awesome realization!!! I like that "if you won't eat an apple, you probably aren't hungry". I'm going to think about that one over the next few weeks!


Jane said...

Very zen! I'm going to think about that mantra too!

Kyle Gershman said...

Wow...that is a massive win. I know the feeling of food-seeking and it is difficult to distinguish it at times. Very proud of you!