February 14, 2012

"Not Hungry" is a real thing & Tracker 45

Something huge happened today. It was late afternoon and around the time I normally eat dinner. I started getting things out to make a large salad for myself. As I was looking down into the bowl I was thinking This does not sound good at all. Yuck. I don't want salad. At that point I determined to be very conscious of my thinking and impulses. I was trying to separate myself from myself if that makes any sense. At first I became anxious. The thought of eating and not thoroughly enjoying it just seems like something ridiculous. So I was trying to think of something that did sound really good. Of course I had to eat--it was "time." Cue: refrigerator door open. Shut. Pantry door open. Shut. What do I want? Not in there. (Funny because I have a magnet on my fridge that says "It's not in there.") I then think of all the Valentine candy we now have. Pulled out my son's Valentine box from school and rummaged through it. Yes, I seriously did that.  I found one little off-brand chocolate heart in his box that probably had rice crispies in it. I was about to eat it and I don't even like those. I decided against it. Mind you, my poor salad is still sitting patiently on the island through all of this. So I walked back over to the salad and looked down at it. It was a beautiful salad but I was still JUST. not. interested. Right at that moment I remembered a line I read in a book the other day that said, "If you won't eat an apple then you probably aren't hungry." And like a flash of lightening it hit me! You aren't hungry, goober. So I covered the salad with foil and returned to it, very happily, about an hour later. The fact that I did recognize "non hunger" and even more that I did not go ahead and eat anyway--these things are revolutionary. I hope to be able to report more experiences like these soon and frequently.


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3 comments:

Tammy said...

Thats an awesome realization!!! I like that "if you won't eat an apple, you probably aren't hungry". I'm going to think about that one over the next few weeks!

:)

Jane said...

Very zen! I'm going to think about that mantra too!

Kyle Gershman said...

Wow...that is a massive win. I know the feeling of food-seeking and it is difficult to distinguish it at times. Very proud of you!