While I was running yesterday my music stopped playing. I had to make a decision. Would I take my gloves off in the freezing cold, drizzly weather to play music or would I just push through, alone with my own thoughts. Always a scary option!
I chose to leave the gloves on and face the fear of being alone with the stuff in my head. I began to think through goals present and goals past. One vlog I posted a long time ago came to mind. In it I spoke confidently of the trip I would take in just a few months after beginning my journey. On the trip I would be at goal weight, wearing a bikini (and NOT one of those old-lady bathing suits with a skirt, mind you) and I would be...done. Just a few short months after beginning, I would be done.
I was a cocky little thing.
As I thought of this video I shook my head and smiled to myself. I asked the Lord..."Why? Why in the world would you let me act like that? (Ha.) And by the way...why in the world am I here in the cold, in the rain, without my music, still with fat roll ever-flapping in the wind, running? Why am I here? Because I thought I would be on the beach sipping my fruity drink by now. Am I really here? Are sure this is right?"
I just kept running. And slowly but surely His answer came.
Yes, Keelie. You are here.
In the cold. In the rain. Even without your music and with your fat roll still flapping--you are running.
And you are talking to ME.
This is exactly right.