January 13, 2012

That Old Feeling

That old feeling. I had it today. The feeling like a lion is rising up in me and anything that even resembles food within in a 50 mile radius is going to be consumed. Like NOW.

It caught me off guard but I recognized it right away. (Well, right after I ate 5 saltine crackers in one bite I recognized it.) I stopped myself. I put up the crackers and everything else that I could stick in my mouth. I walked into the next room and asked the question I promised I would ask myself a lot more this year...Why?

I had just eaten a nice lunch. I wasn't thirsty. I had plenty to do. None of the probable answers fit. I grabbed a water, guzzled it down and went on my way. Within 5 minutes of that feeling coming over me, it was gone. Must. Remember.This. The feeling always goes away!

I ate 2 bites of homade banana pudding tonight. I counted it on the tracker and it made me go 20 calories over my ECs for the day. I kind of wish I hadn't done that, considering the post I wrote yesterday,  but the way it went down combined with the saltine cracker incident earlier in the day are proof to me that I am regaining control of my eating.

A month ago I would have eaten a lot more pudding and kept it a secret from the tracker.  The 5 saltine crackers would have needed a half pound of cheddar cheese to go with them. I would not have asked the question "why?" and I would be feeling sorry for myself right now rather than documenting all of this and preparing to joyfully receive the gift that is tomorrow.

Many times Saturdays are a challenging gift for me. Goals for tomorrow: 6 am quiet time, all-smile tracker, 4 mile run. Stay focused on persistence, not perfection.

Night.
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5 comments:

Mom on a mission said...

Loved the bible verse for today:)

Kyle Gershman said...

That is a very familiar feeling...guess who gave you the strength?

Meghan said...

The weekends are the most challenging for me. Giving it to God. I'm getting so close to onederland the thought of doing anything to keep me from getting there sooner is helping me stay focused. I also hate that feeling of regret when I see the scale the next day when I've lost control. What a horrible feeling!

Good luck to you!

Absolutely, Positively Josie said...

It is a gift in itself to view a potential Saturday challenge as a gift!

What a different mind it takes to focus on persistence over perfection. Admirable.

God Bless you, Keelie. Have a good run tomorrow, Lord willing.

HaLaG said...

i love how meticulous you are with your food diary - i wish i had the same amount of careful consideration as you. you are truly strong