That Old Feeling

That old feeling. I had it today. The feeling like a lion is rising up in me and anything that even resembles food within in a 50 mile radius is going to be consumed. Like NOW.

It caught me off guard but I recognized it right away. (Well, right after I ate 5 saltine crackers in one bite I recognized it.) I stopped myself. I put up the crackers and everything else that I could stick in my mouth. I walked into the next room and asked the question I promised I would ask myself a lot more this year...Why?

I had just eaten a nice lunch. I wasn't thirsty. I had plenty to do. None of the probable answers fit. I grabbed a water, guzzled it down and went on my way. Within 5 minutes of that feeling coming over me, it was gone. Must. Remember.This. The feeling always goes away!

I ate 2 bites of homade banana pudding tonight. I counted it on the tracker and it made me go 20 calories over my ECs for the day. I kind of wish I hadn't done that, considering the post I wrote yesterday,  but the way it went down combined with the saltine cracker incident earlier in the day are proof to me that I am regaining control of my eating.

A month ago I would have eaten a lot more pudding and kept it a secret from the tracker.  The 5 saltine crackers would have needed a half pound of cheddar cheese to go with them. I would not have asked the question "why?" and I would be feeling sorry for myself right now rather than documenting all of this and preparing to joyfully receive the gift that is tomorrow.

Many times Saturdays are a challenging gift for me. Goals for tomorrow: 6 am quiet time, all-smile tracker, 4 mile run. Stay focused on persistence, not perfection.

Night.